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Monday, August 30, 2004
Chris and I had dinner with some dear friends on Friday at Carrabba's. They live in Arlington and were in Houston for a wedding. They were going to be heading back Saturday night. They also had their teenage son with them.
We received a call Sunday evening to tell us they had been involved in a pretty gruesome wreck. They were hit by a drunk driver going the wrong way on I-45 near Conroe. They are okay thank goodness. They were hit on the right rear side. The side their son was on. He is banged up and walking with a limp but thankfully okay. The driver that caused the wreck died on the way to the hospital. The other cars involved had people with injuries but nobody else died. On friday i took Portia to the doctor. I was so pissed at my cousin. I asked her the night before to go with me because of the panic attacks. I was afraid i would have another and need to step out for a minute. She said "sure absolutely i'll go with you". I really wanted chris there but he has taken enough time off in the recent weeks due to my panic attacks. So i told her i will be leaving here at 8:45 to pick up Portia from school. So she said she would be here at 8:30. Of course 8:30 rolls around and she's still not here. So i called her cell phone.......she was still asleep. She wasn't going to show up and she wasn't even going to bother to call me! So i cried a little and called chris. He helped me get a grip and then off i went. I spoke to the doctor about her recent behavior and he referred us to a therapist. oy vey. So she is going to be seen by that doctor on the 13th. Her pediatrician said that she is manipulating us and she knows she can. We need to get back in control and let her know we are the bosses not the other way around. I admit it's our fault we spoiled her and now it's come back to bite us in the butt. But it doesn't make it any easier to deal with her. lol Chris and I had the dinner plans and had originally planned to bring the kids. But after the way portia's been lately i wanted to leave them with a sitter. I knew my parents were going to be showing up later on and that they could watch them until we got back. So i used guilt and called my cousin mary to come and watch them. Only mistake i made was telling her that my parents were driving up and would be arriving some time later. According to the kids she ignored them a lot (fighting on the phone with her boyfriend who lives in California) and walked away from Marina when marina asked for her help catching a lizard that had come inside. It came inside when one of the kids left the door open and NOBODY bothered to close it! There were all sorts of little flying bugs in here when i got home and i was pissed. The pizza i put in the oven for them before i left had not hardly been touched. She didn't bother to clean up any of the mess. There were dirty plates and cups all over. And the house looked like a tornado had hit it. I spent all day thursday and friday cleaning this place up. She also started a fire in the ashtray in the garage because she does not put her cigarrettes out all the way. That could have burnt our whole house down. And for the second time she installed AOL on our computer so she can "chat". HELLO you are supposed to be babysitting the kids! You think she would have realized i uninstalled it last time and so that means she should probably not do it again. She also called my parents 4 fucking times to ask them if they were almost here yet. I'm surprised my mom didn't just ignore her calls after the first one. I mean shit what did she want them to do? she also took a shower before she left and just left her dirty thong on the bathroom floor. geesh. I guess now i know why her other cousin Cynthia (who she lives with) has so many gripes about her. But i did have a good time with my parents. My father pissed me off a couple of times and i finally said something to him. His first response was maybe we should leave. So i said if you feel you need to run away go right ahead. But i'm not asking you to leave i'm just asking you to quit being so insulting and mean. Family is supposed to support you not shoot you down all the time. It was like the earth stood still and no one spoke for a minute. Then he sort of shook his head and said I know. I guess that was his version of "i'm sorry". LOL I figured for now i will take what i can get. I am going to ask portia's therapist if he can recommend someone for me to see. I think it's been far to long and i should have done this a long time ago. Tuesday, August 24, 2004
I have some pictures to share first is Marina's poncho. I originally picked that color yarn for myself and when she saw it she asked me to make her a poncho with it. So i did. :)
And here are 2 pics from my birthday. The first one is me and the kiddos. 
And this one has chris in it while marina is taking the pic. 
Don't ya just love that beautiful cake they made me? I did. Friday, August 20, 2004
Today was such a busy day. Last night marina called me from her room and asked me to come upstairs to talk to her. She was crying so hard she could hardly talk. She was forced to go the end of the lunch line because she didn't have her ID. She knew she wouldn't have enough time to eat if she waited in line again, so she jumped into the snack bar line for a bag of chips. Then as she sat down a teacher blew a whistle at her and told her to move. That bitchy teacher didn't even bother to explain why or ask her to move she just demanded "move!".
Well i was PISSED! First of all it is not her fault she has no ID. She registered for school on Wednesday and was never given any type of ID. Not even a temporary. She was also denied textbooks because the textbook person couldn't find marina's name in the system. Earlier this week she received an assignment that required a textbook. I emailed the counselor's secretary and she said that she had not put marina in the system. A fucking week later she had not gotten around to entering marina's information! So 2 days later, yes it took 2 more days, she got books. Then the incident yesterday totally set me off. The counselor that registered her is the one that sent her to the back of the line. Marina tried to tell her she never got an ID but the counselor said too bad gotta go to the end of the line. So this morning i went in with marina and asked to speak to her principal. When he finally made it to the front office 30 minutes later i was even more upset. LOL So i let it all out and i didn't even let him interrupt, he tried. I explained that Marina is already having a hard time attending this school because it is not where she wants to be. And then to have this happen really upset her which upset me. She was not responsible for not having an ID and was still punished for it. She also did not feel comfortable speaking up to the counselor because she fears that she will be punished for speaking her mind. So many of the school "officials" have this attitude that it's okay to talk down to the kids. They often talk about how they want our middle schoolers to start taking on more "adult" responsibilities and rely less on mommy. But they won't give them the opportunity to speak unless mommy is there to tell the other adult to shut up and let them get a word in. That prinicipal tried to interrupt me several times and i shot him the "shut up i'm still talking look". h I also explained that the front office staff was rude and not very helpful to her when she tried to straighten out the ID mess a couple of days ago. She was never given a straight answer and several times got brushed off and ignored. grrr He apologized and told marina that if she has any more problems to come see him directly. I felt so bad for marina last night i wanted to verbally bash the counselor. Instead i went to the principal. I hope that he says something to her and her staff for dropping the ball and then punishing Marina for it. On a more positive note i went to the volunteer orientation today at Jewel and Portia's school. The coordinators are very nice and i'm looking forward to starting next week. I also had lunch with portia and marina today. They both enjoyed it. I am going to try and squeeze in a lunch with jewel next week. Tonight chris and the kids are going to bake a birthday cake for me. This should be fun. :) Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Yesterday was the first day of school. Portia started kindergarten and it is killing me. :( When we dropped her off yesterday she did great. No crying, she barely gave me a kiss. Jewel on the other hand cried quite a bit. I think it was the class placement screw up that started it all.
Because of her last name she was placed in a bilingual class. Everyone was speaking spanish and it made her worry that she wouldn't be able to communicate with anyone. The teacher suggested speaking to the office about the mix-up and so off we went. They said that the same mix-up had happened to quite a few people. So she is in a regular class now. Then Chris and I went down to the cafeteria for a "coffee". I was reading through the paperwork we got from jewel's teacher and saw that the school is peanut free because of severe allergies. EEK!! Her sandwich in her lunch was peanut butter and jelly. We went back to the office to ask about it and to speak with the nurse about portia's allergies. The clerk asked us to let the teacher know. WTH?? I would think they would say take it home and let her buy lunch. So i went to the classroom to tell the teacher. She said what i was thinking take it home and have her buy lunch. The kid with the severe allergies is in the same grade as jewel. I'm telling ya those front office clerks need to be more informed about a LOT of things. And i was more than happy to share that with them. LOL So after all of that we took marina to register her at her new school. She is still torn about the homeschooling so i suggested she try the new school for a few weeks. If it's not working out we will pull her and homeschool. She got a little juicy during registration but didn't out right cry. When we left i cried, chris skipped and did a stupid happy dance.....hmph men! Then later that afternoon when we picked up Jewel & Portia, portia was crying. NEVER AGAIN we sat in the car rider line for an HOUR! I'm so glad they at least kept the kids in the school because if they had sat out in that heat for an hour i would have been rippin' someone a new one. As soon as i saw portia crying my heart just broke in a million pieces. She told me that she missed me and wanted to stay with me. We talked about school and got them all excited about it hoping it would help for them to understand it's not all so bad. Then all evening Portia said mommy i wanna be homeschooled. rip rip....the sound of ripping mama's heart out. So i talked to her and explained that first we would give it a chance. Then if she still doesn't want to attend i will homeschool her. Right now i feel like the worst mommy in the world. This is the reason i quit working to take care of my kids and now i'm shuttling them off to public school. ugh. I cried this morning and tried to stay busy to keep my mind off of the guilt i'm beating myself up with. I hope she has a better day today. I hope that the bus ride this afternoon goes well. I hope that marina makes some friends soon. I miss them and I can't wait until they get home. Saturday, August 07, 2004
We made it to Colorado. It is so beautiful! We will be leaving tomorrow to head back home. We have been here since Wednesday. I wish that we could stay until Tuesday like everyone else. The rest of the family will be here until then. We have to get back because the kids start school on Wednesday.
I drove all the way up here (2 day trip). Even up and down the mountains! I even pulled over and got out of the car to look around. I did have a couple of panic attacks but i recovered pretty quickly. I am so glad that i decided to suck it up and come. I wanted to back out at first. We have had fun, even got to go shopping yesterday and today. A couple of days ago i went on a hike with chris, aunt cathy, cousin jesse, great grandma and the kids. We had to drive part way up the mountain then take a bus the rest of the way up to the trail. It was HORRIBLE. There is a new road being built and we had to ride up in a bus. It was so bumpy i mean boob boucing, loosing your lunch bumpy. I was sure the bus was gonna bounce so hard it would tip and we would fall down the side of the mountain. LOL I sucked down a lot of rescue remedy. We finally made it up without falling over. We hiked the trail and then some. We ran into rain way up high. I climbed around a huge rock to see a spectacular view that scared the crap out of me. But i couldn't leave here without doing it. I am very proud of myself right now. :) I got to feed chipmunks right out of my hand. We have even had a bear right outside our cabin for the last 2 nights. The first night i couldn't see it, too dark. I could hear it tumping over the dumpster. It was right outside the living room window. Scared the doodie out of me. Mostly because we were already a little spooked because we were watching The Shining. The hotel that inspired Stephen King to write the book is here in Estes Park. Yes i did go see it. :) Then last night the bear came around at around 1am. And darnit if no one woke me up. I went and bought a flashlight earlier. I am going to put some food in the trash tonight to attract the bear and wait up to see him. My brother-in-law (who wasn't supposed to come and surprised everyone) saw it and said it looked right at him when he turned on the lights and it just kept on eating. So tonight chris and i will be bear hunting! So i must go now because i am in the office using a common computer, and chris is patiently waiting for me. I will share more when i get back home. Cross your fingers for the bear hunt tonight. ;) Monday, August 02, 2004
This morning i was leaving our subdivision to head to the post office. I went out to the main road instead of the backway. The backway has less traffic the main road is always full of speeding crazy people. :)
So as i'm heading out that way i noticed a fence that looked like something had driven through it. After having smashed through one of those big square things of mailboxes. It may sound crazy but people driving through fences happens a lot around here. A lot of people use our subdivision to cut through instead of taking the main road. It wouldn't be so bad if they bothered to abide by the posted speed limit of 30 mph, but usually they don't. And they don't make complete stops at the stop signs, if they even stop! Anyway it caught my eye because it was covered in flowers, balloons and notes. I immediately recognized it from a news report i had heard last week. The report did not mention that it happened in Katy. They said west Harris County so it didn't snap in my head that it happened here. I remembered that someone had been killed and that it had something to do with a teenage driver. So i came home and looked it up. This is one story but it is a little off. The girl did not have a driver's license. The link has an article and another link to the story from one of our local news stations that has an interview with the schmuck that hit the jogger. It made me cry. I fucking hate all these losers who insist on speeding through the subdivisions. I don't like to use the word hate because it is such a strong word but that is the only feeling i can use to describe these inconsiderate assholes that risk so many lives everyday. Every evening when i leave to get chris i get tailgated by assholes on the road i take to get out of our subdivision. That is the street most of the people who are cutting through use. So they expect everyone to speed. I always go the speed limit. You have to pass our subdivision pool and all summer long kids come and go. They ride their bikes or walk up to the pool. And there are always people walking, jogging, riding bikes, some with kids. Why do people have to be in such a hurry all the time? I don't understand the need to speed, even if it is just 5 miles over that is too much. In the end someone could die because you wanted to save 5 minutes. This poor woman was a teacher, about to be married and had her parent's visiting from Michigan. One report from another station said that the girl that wrecked may have suffered the black out due to previous drug use. FUCKING LOSER! Meanwhile i should be packing because we are leaving tomorrow and i can't stop thinking about Gwendolen. Thursday, July 29, 2004
Blue Collar TV
If you have ever seen The Blue Collar Comedy tour and laughed your ass off, then this is the show for you. I hope it's as funny as they were on tour. I laughed so hard i had a huge coughing fit. I really need to figure out what we are gonna pack with us on the trip to colorado. We leave on Tuesday......i think. I'm so glad that we got one of those doo-hickeys that you plant on top of your car. Because the storage space in an Explorer SUCKS! At least this trip I won't be so worried about packing as much as i want. :) So far i have decided on some food stuff to take, heh the important stuff. And i have been making a list of stuff that i'll want to have while i'm there. I've been making the list up for the last few days. Everytime i think of something i write it down, or else i'll forget. I'd forget my ass if it wasn't attached. I hope that chris' mom can behave better this time. I don't want to deal with her bullshit and i told chris i'd let him take care of it and if he didn't i would. I finally told my parents enough and my mom at least has been trying very hard to "behave". My father is still a schmuck. I have no idea what is going on with those two. She made it sound like she was leaving and now nada. I'm just staying out of it as much as possible. Last weekend when they were here i didn't say a negative word about the whole situation. I still remember how much it bothered me when my mom gave me her 2 cents about my relationship with jewel's father. So i just listened. I'm just gonna have to sit back and wait for the shit to hit the fan. Meanwhile my father asked her if she took out the money and she said yes. Then they just left it at that. No arguing, no asking for the money back. ?? He must be feeling guilty about something cause this is just not like my dad at all. But then again i'm only hearing one side of the story. hmmm I finished up a poncho the other night. I don't know who will get it but it will be a xmas gift. I'm gonna try making a bunch of different ponchos for xmas and just figure out later who will get them. :) Here is jewel modeling it. 
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
What to do? what to do? My mother called me yesterday to tell me she thinks my father is having an affair AGAIN! She found a woman's phone number in his cell phone address book and asked him who it was. My father started to crack his knuckles and didn't answer right away.
My father never cracks his knuckles. I do it a lot and it makes him crazy. He gripes at me to quit doing it. So my mother knew right away that he was going to try to lie. After a minute he started to tell her that it's a woman that he works with. He said they all exchanged numbers in case of an emergency. wha?? So my mom asked him what could the other woman possibly offer in an emergency that his wife couldn't? His answer........silence. Then he went to watch tv in another room. ugh. I'm pretty sure he's having an affair. I wouldn't have believed it before but last year when he was working on my nana's house here in houston he behaved like a slut. lol My uncle was helping him and they were staying in that house together. My uncle said my father was constantly flirting with women and making comments about them. My uncle told me this but asked me not to tell my mother because he didn't want us caught in the middle. I agreed that it was none of my business. She called yesterday and asked for my bank account info. I asked why she said "so i can transfer $12,000.00 into your account. Squeeze me?? what did you say?? lol Then she tells me as soon as it's there transfer it into your savings so that the transfer cannot be reversed. She told me that she was going to confront my father and ask him for a divorce. She asked if she could stay with us for a couple of weeks to get away. Then she calls later and says i have to give my two weeks notice at work first. She also says that she is not planning on telling my father about the money. HEY wait a dadgum minute.......when he notices the money is gone he is going to question the bank and they will tell him it was transferred to me. BAM right in the middle, exactly where i didn't wanna be. To make matters worse while i was on the phone yesterday marina overheard me and asked questions. I was honest with her and told her what was going on. Then my mother calls back to tell me she is just going to pretend like nothing is up so she can move her things out before she tells him. And they are still planning on coming here this weekend so we should all just play it cool. AAAHHHH She plans to use this weekend as an opportunity to "give" me a bunch of her stuff. So that way she's moving it out without him catching on. I asked if it would look suspicious but she said no because he's been bugging her for a long time to get rid of some of her stuff. What a fucking asshole. This comes from a man who has the garage so stuffed with JUNK they can't even park their cars in there. And he has two totally useless cars sitting in the driveway. One of which has been sitting there broken down since i was a junior in high school (about 16 years). It's an old mustang and "it's a classic" so he can't get rid of it. He might "fix it up" someday. yeah right. Now i don't know what to do. I hope something happens before this weekend and they stay home. I am going to feel so uncomfortable knowing these "secrets" while they are here. Why can't my parents be normal for a change? Tuesday, July 13, 2004
I feel like such a dope. I checked and double checked with the FUCKING katy isd website for attendance zones for the kids schools before we bought this house. I wanted us to fall in the attendance zones for the same junior high that marina has been attending. And i wanted the little guys to go to the new school being built in our subdivision. But oh no fucking way could they draw up the attendance zones so that they made sense.
Jewel and portia have to attend a school that is out of our subdivision and a couple of miles up the road when the new elementary is a couple of blocks away from us. And i just found out today that Marina will not be able to attend the same junior high school which is just past the new elementary. We have to leave the subdivision and drive past the junior high, go around and then back down a street that passes right by the junior high again. (In a horseshoe) I am so heartbroken for marina. We specifically wanted in this subdivision because we were told that is where she would attend. Now she won't be able to. It is her last year of Junior high and she has been looking forward to it for a while. She really liked this school and had some very positive experiences with some teachers last year that pushed her to try even harder. I am going to apply for an Intradistrict transfer but was already told that she would more than likely be denied. We tried to be positive and told her that the upside is it's only for one year. Next year she will be able to attend the high school that is right in front of the junior high. They will probably change that on us next year too. It just makes no sense to me the way they have broken up the boundaries but hey i just pay the taxes that are funding them i get no actual say on the matter. fuck fuck shit damn fuck!!! Wednesday, July 07, 2004
And here is Jewels little crib. She picked the colors and i think they look great together. :)
Today is my baby brother's birthday. He is 32 and far far away..... Monday, July 05, 2004
This is a little cradle I made for Portia. It can be folded up into a purse. It's really cute and she's been carrying it around all day today. Here she is posing with it on her arm. 
Now i need to make one for jewel. :) Monday, June 28, 2004
Day 8 with no caffeine.
We finally had the exterminator come out on Saturday. He was supposed to come thursday night then cancelled. He sprayed the whole house and usually takes a big hose and spray's the entire yard. But it was supposed to rain later so he didn't do that. He put down granules. Granules take a while to work. CACA. He said we had a very bad ant problem and if they haven't started to disappear in 2 weeks to give him a call and he will come back. He said if it's not raining when he comes back he will spray the whole yard. I wonder how long i'm supposed to wait for it to totally wipe out the big cockroaches. Poor marina had a run in with one last night. There is a hole behind her bedroom door from the doorknob. The people we bought from did it and we haven't gotten around to fixing it yet. She covered it with a poster because she was afraid a cockroach was gonna come through there. Last night her worst fears came true. LOL She was lying in bed and heard some scratching from behind the poster. She ran downstairs to get chris and he had to go up to kill it. Which is just the funniest thought to me. He absolutely hates them, especially killing them. He always sends me to kill them. Other than this one we haven't seen any live ones. Just a few dead ones. It is definitely working on the ants. Normally they are all over the place here in my craft room windows but for the last couple of days we have only seen a few. Oy yesterday we had a good scare. And a big wake up call about child proofing stuff. When we moved in i noticed that the valve that cuts the gas on to the fireplace has a removable "key". Well i left the key on the valve STUPID STUPID and it stuck out of the wall. My archie bunker chair is in that corner and portia likes to climb over it and hide behind it. Yesterday i was in my craft room at the front of the house and she was in the living room playing with jewel. I sat here for a while thinking something smells funny. *sniff sniff* I did this for about 10 minutes then went DUH that is GAS! So i jumped up and started checking the stove. At first i couldn't figure out where it was coming from and then i had a brain fart. I ran over to the fireplace and twisted the key. Sure enough it was on, turned up low. So i cut it off and pulled the key out. I asked if portia had been climbing over there and jewel said yes but that she hadn't been messing with the key. She must have hit it just hard enough to cut on the gas. Well i was trying to figure out what i should do. I called chris from my cell phone and he said it would probably be a good idea to open some windows and leave the house. So i loaded up all the kids, including a friend of Marina's that was visiting from Florida. By the time i got everyone out the door i was feeling dizzy. Ugh. We were planning on picking up chris and heading into town to a big hobby lobby (rockets are 1/2 price this week). So i took kids to jack in the crack to get something to eat and we went to the park and ride to wait. His bus ended up being hella late due to rain. Because apparently rain is like falling bricks in the Galleria. ;) So what should have been a 20-30 minute wait ended up being over an hour. When we finally made it back the gas smell was gone. *phew* I have been bugging chris for carbon monoxide detectors and he kept putting me off. Not a lotta extra money lately. We will now be picking up some this weekend. This morning we got up and i told chris..."how do we know we didn't die? Maybe this is what happens when you die, you don't even realize it and just go on living." He laughed and thought maybe the gas had REALLY affected me. LOL I'm sitting out back waiting for a storm to blow in. I cannot beleive how cool it is out here. It feels so good. Oh i can hear the thunder now and see the lightning. Guess i'll have to go in soon. Friday, June 25, 2004
Here are a couple of pairs of fuzzy flip flops that i made. The red/pink pair are jewel's and she loves them. Now her sister's each want a pair. I'm lucky to have finished these. LOL I am going on my 4th day of no caffeine/carbonated drinks. I have been feeling so sleepy and slow the last few days. The headaches have not been too bad. I think i may actually be able to do this YAY. Now if i could just quit smoking. It has been raining and raining and raining. Our bayou behind the house is really full. It looks like willy wonka's chocolate river. LOL Jewel's calling me over to watch Martha Stewart Living. gotta go Monday, June 21, 2004
My parents were here this weekend. ugh thank goodness they left. My father is such a grump. And like a dumbass i let myself get my panties in a wad over the stuff he says to me. He really makes me laugh when he tries to share parenting advice with me. HA like i'd listen to him.
Advice from a man who resented getting married because he knocked my mother up. Then spent most of my childhood drunk and being mean. He tried to tell me how to discipline the girls. heh i wanted to ask him if he thought maybe knocking their teeth out like he did mine would help? Of course bringing that up would make me be the bad guy. After they left my cousin mary came over and she shared a sad sad story with me. My dad was talking to my uncle roland (my mother's brother) and said "it must be nice to have a new home and a new car" and my uncle says "so how much you paying on their mortgage?" LOL put my dad right in his place. My uncle thinks it's awfully sad that my parents just can't be happy for me. I think they are also pissed because my brother is buying a house and just got a brand new car too. I just wish i could tell him to shut up sometimes. So today i had a big cry. Then i told myself over and over it doesn't matter what they think this is your life. But in the back of my mind i'm still a little girl who can't please her parents. My cousin mary told me last night that she is planning to move to California in August. I'm sad about that too. She's like my little sister and i hate the thought of her being so far away. But i think it will probably do her good to get away from all the family bullshit and be on her own. If i could i would run away too. I told chris today that if it was up to me we would live far away from here. Somewhere our families could only visit once a year. That's what my brother did he ran away. He wanted to be away from all of this and he just up and left. Sometimes i just want to change my phone number and hide. Friday, June 11, 2004
We got a chance to chat with the president of the HOA last night. He was nice but his wife seemed a little shy. She came over introduced herself, pulled some weeds around their front beds then went inside the house. She only said hi nice to meet you. hmmm
But he was nice and their daughter is the same age as jewel. Chris also meet the couple next door to us (the cat people). I came out and they were already gone doh. But he got to talk to them for a minute. She's a sahm too. He said they were really nice and shared some stories of the original owners of the house. Apparently they ran a stolen car/drug operation out of this house. One night the cops came and toted them off. Then the people we bought from moved in. They were okay people but had rowdy teenagers visiting all the time. They drove reckless and were a nuisance. So i think that the neighbors are glad that our kids are too young to have rowdy friends over. lol We are hoping to get some stuff done this weekend. I need to call an exterminator cause i am sick of dealing with ants & tree roaches. We have been lucky that the roaches have only made it as far as the garage. For the last couple of weeks anyway. Before that a few got in the house YUCK. and chris is a total weenie, he won't kill them. if he does attempt to kill the he uses spray and won't smush them. not me i turn into a psychotic bug killer. i smash the damn things to bits. i put out a ton of poison traps and they are working cause i keep finding ant & roach corpses. But i want those fuckers dead and gone. two of our neighbors have recommended an exterminator that gets rid of all of them and if they pop up they will come back out and treat the house again at no extra cost. But our neighbor said he's never had to call them back. We also talked to him about the security system. We are definitely getting the alarm activated. I would just feel a ton better. Although i feel pretty safe here. But in July chris is going to vegas again and in august we will be in colorado so i think i would enjoy the trips more with an alarm. I think when chris goes to vegas i will visit my parents for a couple of days. that way if they haven't brought the couches i will bring them back with me. :) Okay i had a lot more to share today but marina's boyfriend invited her to the movies. So i've decided to take the other 2 girlies at the same time to see shrek. Marina and Chris will be watching Garfield. We were gonna all go see it together but the reviews are horrible and i really want to see shrek. jewel and portia screamed yes when i asked about shrek, so shrek it is. Thursday, June 10, 2004
 You are the night fairie. Shy and silent you love the dark. The secent in the air of night is better than anything in the world to you. Please rate my quiz it would keep you up longer into the night. What kind of element fey are you? (PRETTY PICS) brought to you by Quizilla Wednesday, June 09, 2004
We have been busy busy. Something in this house is causing an allergic reaction that is making my chest feel very tight. Breathing in deep is a joke and it's starting to hurt. oy I hope it's not walking pneumonia again. Very short on money so i can't go to the doc until next Tuesday. My mother offered to pay for a doctors visit but i don't want to take money from her. I'm just going to wait it out and see how it goes. I hope it passes before then.
I absolutely just need to quit smoking. How can i be such a loser. I am down to one soda a day (gonna give them up) and I haven't bitten my nails down to the quick in years. Why can't i quit smoking? I'm gonna talk to the doc about it when i finally get to go see one. My brother was put on Wellbutrin to help deal with MS symptoms. He was totally shocked when i told him that it's also used to help quit smoking. He said he had only been on it a couple of days and already he noticed a decrease in his urge to smoke. So i'll try it if i can. I am so glad i never tried any drugs beyond pot. LOL I obviously have no willpower. Now i need to whine about the sopranos. First off 2 weeks ago when they offed my beloved Ade i was devastated. My cousin Mary had to finally tell me to shut up already, cause i kept repeating how shocked i was. Then this week Tony himself blew out the left side of Tony Blundetto's head. ugh. I really liked his character. I cannot wait to see how the arrest of Johnny Sak is gonna play out. That guy has been a major prick. I also wonder what all the snitch gave up about the soprano family. And poor uncle jun, oy he is just floating away, slowly. And tony is such a prick he has no patience. WTF was he thinking picking that huge fight with Janice? I thought she did so well learning to control her anger and was thinking maybe Tony could too. But no he's just a big child. My hair is now burgundy. My roots were coming in something awful. I didn't want to do any bleaching again. The first round of bleaching was very traumatic on my hair. I had not colored my hair in years and i thought it would hold up much better. I decided to go for a darker, permanent color. I love the colors manic panic offers but none of them are permanent and they wash out way to fast. I was re-doing my hair too often. And i'm lazy about my hair. I just want to wash it and not deal with it. I met the mother of Marina's "boyfriend" today. She was really nice. My hair was still green so she probably thought i was a fruit loop that had gone in the pool just after a bleach job. I have gotten that question quite a bit lately. Pool do that to your hair? Nope it's green on purpose. Oh *huge pause* okay. And then the stammering "well it looks nice" and i laugh. :) I'm gonna skeedaddle now. I am reading a Jodi Picoult novel My Sister's Keeper. It is very good. I love her novels. Sunday, May 30, 2004
 you are DONKEY! you are outgoing and genuinly loving life. you're hilarious and tell it like it is what shrek character are you? brought to you by Quizilla Well we are in the house and everything is slowly finding a place to belong. Jewel and portia were supposed to have their own rooms. The first night we tried to have them sleep in their own rooms they cried and begged to sleep together. Jewel begged for us to let portia sleep in her room with her. LOL So chris and i have an extra room to use as a play room. :) The extra bedroom will probably be my sewing/yarn storage room. And chris will get the formal dining room as his rocket room. We have been trying to get everything put away but i'll tell ya it sucks. Unpacking everything and finding the right places for it is just a PITA. We went to Lowe's yesterday to buy stuff for the lawn. The people we bought from must not have ever gone outside. The lawn out back is not very nice at all. It has a ton of weeds some of them very hard on bare feet. We are also treating for fire ants. So far the kids love playing back there. Chris and my dad set up the trampoline and swing set last weekend. We also have a momma bunny and her baby back there. We left a patch of overgrown grass in the far left corner of the yard for them to hide in and eat. We usually head back there to spy on them and they will run out into the open part of the yard. Then they will try to hide. LOL it's very funny. I am having a very hard time with allergies. Apparently the people we bought from did not vacuum very often and never ever cleaned their mini-blinds. I vacuumed the living room and our bedroom and realized it totally filled the canister of our vacuum. I emptied it out and started on the blinds. YUCK. There were lots of feathers, bird caca, and dust. I have been cleaning like crazy. I just feel like nothing is getting clean enough. Marina and i have been wheezing a lot and it's hard for me to breathe deeply. oy. Chris wants me to go to the doc as soon as we get our new insurance cards. *whine* i hate going to the doctor. But i will suck it up and go. So far i love our neighbors. It is always so quiet here. The only noise we ever deal with is 4-wheelers and dirt bikes riding up and down the bayou behind us. It never happens at night just during the day. Technically they are not supposed to be out there at all. The HOA doesn't allow it and will call our subdivision cop on them. But they do it anyway. Sometimes there are little kids on full-size ATV's and they are not wearing helmets. ugh. But i'm not surprised, a lot of people let their kids ride around on bikes without helmets. Last weekend chris and i took the kids to the park here in the subdivision and watched people run the stop signs at the corner. Too much trouble to stop i suppose. So i finally had enough and when one car ran through i screamed "there is a stop sign!". Everyone in the car looked over at us and they made sure to stop at the next sign. :) Another mother that was out there smiled at me. She said that it was very disturbing to see so many adults ignore the signs, especially next to a park. I think it's sad when assholes insist on speeding through the subdivision. Everyday on the main street through the subdivision people are speeding. There are always kids walking around and riding their bikes (without helmets) and some schmuck just has to go fast. I get tailgated all the time driving down that street. Cause i'm apparently the only moron in the entire area who dares do the speed limit. The pool is on that street and there are always a ton of kids leaving on foot. And those dopey kids will walk right in the middle of the street. Cause i guess it's not cool to walk on the sidewalk? hmmm. One of these days some speeding fool and some kid to cool to use the sidewalk are gonna meet up and it ain't gonna be pretty. We got our pool tag yesterday so we should be using that next week. I also managed to find a very cute suit at Academy. Actually i found two and i like them both but i'll probably take one back. Can't afford too much extra right now. Trying to be careful how we spend cause ya never know when something might go. Not to mention that for the small sum of $400 some odd dollars we get the use of the neighborhood pool all summer. I hate the idea of an HOA but so far they seem pretty tolerable and very lenient. We happen to live in a cul-de-sac with 5 houses. Two of the HOA board members are in two of the other houses. And both families seem very nice. I hope that doesn't come back to bite me in the butt. LOL So i am alive and hopefully our DSL service will be up and running by Wednesday. So i can say adios to this slow poke dial-up. Oh and i have wedding pictures FINALLY. I only had to bug chris' mom to death to get the pictures she had. My mom i only had to ask once and i got them. I thought i would have to bug her to death too. I will probably put them up later today. Chris is busy right now and everytime i try to use the dadgum scanner it gives me an error message then shuts down. So when i figure it out i will put some up. They did not come out super great but that's okay. I'm still kicking myself in the ass. The day before the wedding i thought to myself i should go buy a bunch of disposables and give one to everyone. Then i could develop them and give everyone copies and have some for myself. But Chris' mom kept chingando about everything. Flowers, cake, hair, shoes. So i forgot and the day of the wedding was so hectic i almost forgot my own name. But anyway there were a couple of cute pictures. Monday, May 17, 2004
Moving SUCKS!! :) We expected my parents to be here this weekend with their trailer to help us move. So i called my mom Friday afternoon to find out when they were coming. She says "oh your father is working tomorrow" WTF?? She acted surprised, like they didn't know we were expecting them. So i tell her we were planning on using the trailer that they were gonna bring the couches on to move our big stuff into the house. So then she says "well i wish we had known ahead of time that you guys wanted to do this" WHAT?? We talked about it at the wedding!
So then i tell her no problem we will just rent a u-haul if we can find one. I so hate it that they do this kind of thing all the time. You never know if they will back out on it at the last minute.........they usually do so you kind of anticipate it. So then she says well maybe i can leave with the trailer tonight and you guys can use it this weekend. So I said yes that would be great. So she says i'll call you when i'm on my way. She called at 9:30 and just left a message with chris. She didn't even want to tell me herself cause she knew she had FUCKING lied to me earlier and i would call her on it. She told him that she was going to call in the morning when she was coming because she couldn't make it that night. She also accidentally mentioned that she was on her way home from her sisters. My tia patti was having a party, i knew this cause my cousin mary was going to corpus just for this party. Why the fuck didn't she tell me when i first talked to her that she wasn't going to come because she was attending that party. Why lie to me and let me believe she was coming? So saturday morning she calls and tells me they won't be coming at all. Well thanks mom a little advance notice would have given us time to try and find a rental truck. She tells me it's because the car doesn't have a hitch and the truck isn't okay to go that far. But then in the same breath mentions a graduation party she is attending later. Hello another lie why don't you just say "sorry roni i made plans to attend a party and forgot to call you and let you know i wouldn't be coming" Yeah i probably would have been a liitle peeved to have been blown off. But it would have at least been some sort of warning and we could have made other arrangements. Instead she just waited until the last minute and told "little white lies". She does this sort of thing all the time. So anyway i said okay gotta go and told chris. He says let's go have breakfast then we will go to u-haul. I"m laughing telling him there is no way we are going to find a truck on a Saturday. He said oh don't worry we will. So i'm thinking yeah right okay. After breakfast we head over to u-haul and the very helpful clerk (read: lazy, couldn't care less slug) said nothing was available. So we ask about the trailers........sure there a several. Yay we will take one of those.....okay what kind of car are you driving........an expolorer.......uh nope sorry we can't hook up any trailers to those SUV's. Why?.....don't know just can't. So we leave. Go home and start packing thinking ah we will just move everything we can in our truck and try to get a u-haul for another day. When we get here i decided to call around anyway. The first place the guy was totally rude and practically hung up on me. So called another place and spoke to a really nice lady. They had one but we could only have it from 3:30 until 8am the next day. I said I'll take it. LOL Desperate times and all. So we go pick it up and ask for a utility dolly. Do all the paperwork and drive off. We get about 10 minutes away and chris calls me.......hey did we get the dolly? DOH so we have to go back and get it. Then we head home and proceed to stuff it to the gills. Twice. We got all the big stuff. Washer, dryer, fridge, beds, couch, chairs, tables, desks, trampoline, swingset, bikes, picnic table blah blah blah. And then manage to get it all in the new house. We finally went to bed at 2am. Chris got up at 7am and went back for one more load. When he got back i helped him unload and then we took the truck back. We moved stuff the rest of the day with our truck. Little stuff. Then we went to the new house around 7pm and started to figure out how to get the washer and dryer up to the second floor. And let me tell you if you have never moved a washer and dryer up a flight of stairs you have not lived! We grunted, we groaned, we pulled muscles and cussed.....but we finally got it up those stairs. Then we realized that the outlet for the dryer doesn't match the one on our machine DOH. So another trip was needed to find the right one and to buy some towels. We were planning on washing some so chris and i would have fresh towels. We only had enough for the kids. We finally fell into bed last night at 11:30. I am here at the old house and i'm supposed to be packing. I will be as soon as i'm done here. yuck pooey. I only have little things left to get and part of the kitchen. After that i have to start cleaning up. pooey again. Chris and i are so sore and bruised. I cannot believe how heavy some the things we own are. Our bedroom dresser for example i think must be lined with lead. Our phones are being switched over to the other house tomorrow. After that our dsl provider can attempt to switch us over. I don't know how long we will be without internet access. Hopefully long enough to straighten out the new house. LOL I also hope that the post office can get their chit together and get our mail situation straight. They were supposed to be holding it. On saturday there was a bunch of mail. oy vey. So i went this morning and asked for my mail. I told them to just go ahead and deliver it to the new house. Asking them to hold it did no good. So they hand me the few pieces they had. I didn't look at them until i was in the car, didn't want to hold up the line. It was huge and as usual they only had 2 people working. Turns out what she handed me, most of it is for the people we bought the house from. geesh. Thursday, May 13, 2004
*yawn* I'm sleepy. Went to bed too late. Have been going to bed too late all week long. My cousin Mary was over last night and left late. Then i got into Dharma & Greg. I love that show. Finally went to bed and was snoozing hard. At 2:15am I was startled awake by the most gigantic clap of thunder. It sounded like someone smacked a huge piece of sheet metal. Then the car alarm across the street started going off. But that fucking thing goes off all the time. Those people across the street really annoy me. lol
So i get out of bed because i knew there would be a herd of little people stampeding towards my room. By the time i got to the hallway they were coming. Dragging pillows and blankets in their frantic scramble to get to the safety of mommies room. I helped them get in their, layed them down and they were almost immediately asleep. So I went back to check on Marina. She was in bed eyes as big as saucers. I asked her if she wanted to come sleep in my room too. She was up before i finished the sentence. lol I grabbed her sleeping bag and we went back in to go to bed. Chris didn't even get out of bed! He sat up when the thunder first happened and said what was that. So i said "thunder sillly". I guess he went right back to sleep after that. I did all the stuff with the kids and went to the potty. Came back and he was totally out, never having moved. hmph. Now we are under a tornado watch. yuck. I hate when the kids are at school and we have severe weather and tornado stuff going on. I also hate that we don't have basements. Okay and while i'm being a cry baby about silly stuff..........let me talk about the damn blue jays around here. Those birds are just pissy and mean. They are constantly squawking....heh kinda like me. lol They love to bother the outside cats, and there are a lot of those here. Another gripe of mine, man i'm bitchy. They will follow the cats and peck at them. Sometimes i wish the cats would turn and bite the doodie out of those mean little fuckers. I went outside the other day and one of them was hopping along the edge of the roof squawking at me. Well i slapped my hands together really loud and shouted so it would fly away. Last Saturday two of them got into a squawking match right next to my bedroom window at 6:30 am. Oy that was so annoying. Yesterday i had to go the post office and point out an act of stupidity. LOL The people we bought the house from are still receiving mail at the house. We got some mail that i wrote--no longer at this address--on the outside of and then put them back in the post. Well the carrier re-delivered it. DUH so i went to the post office, waited in the huge lines (cause they only have 2 employees working at the busiest time of the day) and showed them the mail. The lady at the counter laughed and apologized. She checked to see if the other people had put in a forwarding address. They have so the carried looks even crazier at this point. So i told her about how the guy still tries to come around and check the mailbox. She recommended putting a hold on the mail until we are totally moved in. Another little tidbit she shared with me is mail cannot be delivered to a vacant house. oops. hee hee So my mail is on hold until next week. Okay gotta go play with the new serger. I'm making my father some shorts to hang out around the house in. Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Oy i must be pre-menstrual. This morning the nurse at the school that Portia was due to attend next year called. She wanted the original vaccination exemption form because the registrar made a copy and she should have kept the original. So i start asking about how to change the school they will attend next year because of our move.
She had me speak to the registrar who called the district to find out. They will not be attending the new school being built in our subdivision. We are one block out of the boundaries. We have to leave the subdivision and drive out of our way to another school. So i am slapping myself for making a mistake in reading the map. I based a huge part of my decision on which schools my girls would attend. Cause like i said before the appearance & size of the house was not important to me. It was to chris but not me. And i have to admit that a large part of my decision was based on TAKS scores. The test i hate and think should totally be eliminated. I let it cloud my view of the schools. The school they will be attending has a Recognized rating where as the other schools i debated on had Exemplary ratings. So now i'm telling myself "self this is a good thing because it could mean that the teachers spend more time on fundemental learning and less time pushing 'TAKS test studying'". But then i'm also wondering does this mean that the teachers are slacking all around? ugh. Chris' attitude was so different. He said don't worry, those tests mean nothing. HOW CAN HE BE SO LAID BACK? So i explain to him how the choice of schools is so very important to me and how i have possibly made a mistake that could tank their future education. LOL Talk about over reacting. So then this gets me started on the fucking Zero Tolerance Policy. Katy schools can and will call the police and question our kids without legal counsel or parental notification. Which i find completely deplorable. My children lose their civil rights as soon as they enter a Katy ISD building. I lose my civil rights as soon as i enter one of their buildings. They will ticket and/or arrest the child, which ends up on a permanent police record till death. They can use a tiny infraction (like marina using the word shit) to remove a child from the school and place them in an alternative school. They then lose all extra-curriculars. No band, cheerleading, choir, dances, none of that stuff nada. For the rest of the school year. So if your gonna fuck up do it late in the year. ;) You can always appeal but that gets you nowhere. The same people who decide your fate (alternative school) are also the people who decide whether or not to over turn that decision. There has never NEVER been an over turned decision. If this is the childs first infraction they do not take that into consideration. Doesn't matter if you have been an A student that has never been in trouble. Ah but if you are the star football player ya just might get a break. That's what being a member of the good 'ol boys club in Texas will get ya. And then this lead to my bitching about how we will be paying about $2000 in taxes. And our schools won't even work with us on a better discipline policy. grrr Chris was very shocked when i told him that if it had been up to me i would not have wanted to purchase a house here in katy. But if it was up to me i would not have come back to Texas period. He knew that already. Okay getting all this out has helped me to calm down.........a lot. Now i need to get out of my funk because the UPS website says that my serger is out for delivery right now. YAY Monday, May 10, 2004
I am so excited i have finally found a place to buy a new cushion for my most favorite chair. Oh okay it's second to my rocking chair but that's only because the cushion really needs to be replaced. Puff chair
I have been trying to find a cover for over a year. Now that i have found it i may have to buy one of these chairs for my brother. He loves sitting in it. Everyone who visits loves this chair. It looks like it might be horrible uncomfortable but it's like sitting in an upright marshmallow. It just conforms to your body and wraps around you like a hug. ummm We started moving stuff into the new house this last weekend. We have the house we are in now until the 22nd so no rush. We are just trying to get all the little stuff out of the way. That way when my parents get here next weekend they can help us with the big stuff. They are bringing a trailer (with the couches) so we are going to use it to death. So far we are just stuffing our truck and making a lot of runs. :) Poor chris was alone at the house yesterday when the former owner showed up. He was checking the mail box. Hulloh maybe you should just forward your mail? The guy doesn't speak good english so it's hard to communicate with him. Chris asked if he forwarded his mail and he thought the guy was saying yes. Well i would have told him to just leave the mail box alone. It's not his anymore if he wants us to hold his mail so he can pick it up, no problem. But don't go farting around with our mail too. If i see him this week i will tell him that i will hold on to it so he can pick it up. Because even when you forward your mail it will still sometimes end up at your old address. And that sucks. I took cleaning supplies today and tried to do some cleaning. The people we bought it from let their birds fly loose all the time. So now there is bird caca everywhere, even in the kitchen drawers GROSS! We need to paint and i want to replace all the toilet seats. I can't wait for our first night there. I'm gonna climb into that farty jacuzzi tub and veg for a very long time. :) We also need a new mailbox the one there now tips forward. So you really have to slam the door or else it opens back up and dumps the mail into the street. No to mention it looks like someon bashed the side in with a bat. Everyone else on the block has nice yards and mailboxes and this one needs a little tlc. Gotta rip a tree out of the front yard (that's killing me) because it's too close to the house. Hogging water from the foundation. Even my 81 year old nana said right away "oh that tree needs to go, it's not good so close to the house" I think these people who owned it were not playing with a full deck. hee hee In the back yard they planted a rose bush so close to the house that it has shredded the window screen right above it. I mean totally shredded like a wild animal got a hold of it. But they didn't cut it down, move it, or replace the screen. ?? weird. off to pick up chris...... Tuesday, May 04, 2004
I'm a sadie. :)
Everything went extremely well this weekend. As a matter of fact it went great! Chris mom was a bit of a pain but i just blew it off and tried my best to ignore it. My mom on the other hand behaved i mean she went above and beyond the call of duty this weekend. Even my father managed to behave. He smiled a lot and told us how happy he was for us. The closing on Friday went so smoothly i cannot believe i was nervous up until then. We had one little surprise but nothing major. We wanted to take care of our own escrow account and the mortgage broker screwed it up. So it was included in the closing. No biggie, hopefully that won't come back to bite me in the butt. LOL Saturday was really hectic. We had my parents, uncle roland and nana coming in. They almost didn't make it because of all the heavy rain and winds. It was a beautiful day to get married. I loved it. It was thundering like crazy and there was tons of rain. A cold front blew in and cooled everthing off. I couldn't stop smiling all day long. It was one of this big crazy looking smiles. Like muriel in Muriel's Wedding when she walks down the aisle. I was very excited and happy. First thing in the morning i got dressed and dodged another request from Chris' mom to reconsider my hair color for the wedding. NO Then chris and i went grocery shopping. There was a lot of lightning and thunder. Chris was sure a tornado was gonna carry us off. I was totally enjoying running in the rain. I voluntereed to park the car and dropped him and jewel off at the front of the store. By the time i got in to the store i was soaked, but still smiling like a fool. We bought a lot of beer and sodas and off we went. Meanwhile chris' mom is ordering a cake.........against my wishes. ugh She tried over and over to turn this into a "traditional" wedding. She almost drove me insane from wed-sat about my hair color and buying shoes. She actually duped me into going to the mail (for b-day presents for portia) then had me looking for 3 fucking hours for shoes. Then saturday morning she insisted on the cake. I bit my tongue and figured WHAT THE FUCK EVER. Then she said where can i go buy flowers i'm gonna go get some. Thats when chris said enough mom back off and let us do things the way we want and planned to do them! So then she did the pouty face "i was just trying to make things nicer". Oh okay she must have missed it when we said this is how we wanted the wedding to take place. duh!! She really pissed me off when it was time to cut the stupid cake. My father had busted his ass all day long cooking for everyone. So of course he was last to eat. He didn't complain at all because he was happy. Then when he finally sat down to eat she didn't even let him finish before she started talking about cutting the cake. He wasn't even finished eating and she started moving stuff away from the table. *smack* I snapped "charlene he's not finished eating" you overbearing control freak. Okay so i didn't actually say the last part i just thought it. Again with the pouty face "sorry i was just trying to get things out of the way of the cake" WELL FUCK let him finish eating. grr So anyway back to the wedding. My cousin mary came over and helped do my makeup. I wear makeup maybe once a year, so i don't really own any. She's got some great stuff and she made me look girlie. That I did for the mothers they would have shit if i had not worn makeup. My mom was doing so great she didn't complain about my hair at all and she told me she planned on going barefoot too. awww So the wedding was supposed to start at 3pm and at 2:30 my hair was still wet. doh We were running a little late. I dried it best i could and mary ironed it. I threw on my dress and my "fairy hat" and off we went. Halfway there chris calls and asks if i'm on my way. Yes. So then he asks if i've brought the keys. *phew* lucky i had them in my bag. They were all waiting outside of the house with no keys. LOL When i got there the minister (yes a minister hired by chris, that was a whole nother issue) came up to me and just started hugging. She was great. We went in and everyone got ready to start the ceremony when i looked down. Everyone in my family was barefoot. aww i got faklempt. Then the minister kicked off her shoes and said i'm going barefoot too. So chris took his shoes off and his hair down. The minister said she never had a wedding like ours and would never forget it. :) Halfway through the ceremony i started to cry. I didn't think i was gonna but chris' eyes got juicy while he was reciting his half of the vows and i couldn't help it. Even my father cried. Of course both of our mothers were bawling like babies. And no one thought to bring tissues! When she asked us to join hands Chris thought she said crush her hand. LOL He had some sort of jedi mind numbing death grip on my hand. No matter how hard i tried to get him to loosen up he was crushing it. Later my uncle joked "heh we thought you were crying over the vows turns out you were crying cause chris was hurting ya" LOL He finally had to let go to put the ring on. As he started to slip it on my middle finger i laughed and said "wrong finger guy" everyone laughed. Poor chris was nervous. When she asked him to start reciting the vows she said Chris you repeat after me I chris take...... well when she paused he just stared at me silently. LOL He totally spaced, then stammered and started repeating. By the end i was crying and i couldn't quit smiling that huge stupid smile. Then in desperation chris' mom used his sock to wipe her tears. We even got a picture of it. hee hee hee Of course in all the rushing chris and i had no one take our camera. DOH So we have to wait for everyone else to develop their pictures to share any. I am so happy. We own our own home and i am now the full fledged ball and chain. ;) We went to sears yesterday to buy a garage door opener for the new house. When the clerk asked for our phone number the wrong name came up. She started to enter the correct information and when she asked for my name i said Veronica and Jim (chris' dad) answered with their last name and started spelling it for the clerk. He winked at me and gave me the little "gimme five" hand slap. I absolutely know that i am not the girl that his mother (and maternal grandmother) would have picked for him. They wanted some super model girlie not a green haired, tattooed, pierced schlump. But hey he loves me and i love him. We just had a talk this morning. I have never wanted to be with anyone after this amount of time. I think that's why i waited so long to marry him. I wanted to be sure. None of my relationships lasted past the 3 year mark. I get bored easily and wanna move on. But with chris i just feel so happy, safe, and loved. He has his faults (and so do I) but nothing that makes me want to move on. I love him so much and i'm so happy. There goes that big stupid smile again. :) Thursday, April 29, 2004
One more day woo hoo. Chris' parents got here yesterday so that helped settle my nerves and no more panic attacks. I'm sure tomorrow there will be more. My mom called this morning and they will be coming. Hopefully they will wait until Saturday. I don't know where we are gonna pack everyone overnight. oy.
I just realized this morning that i did not pay my light bill on time. I could have sworn that i paid it like i normally do on the 15th. But with all the schiza we have been dealing with i must have forgot. doh Anyway we will be going shopping in a bit. Today is Portia's 5th birthday. My baby is not a baby anymore. She is a blue power ranger at least according to her. LOL Oh and Robin is coming to the wedding yay!! When i have some pictures ready i will put them up for all to see. Chris' mom already asked me if i was planning on leaving my hair green for the wedding. She said she asked because they are taking pictures to show everyone at home (kansas city) and all they will see is the hair. LOL Chris did the "oh mom i thought you would be a little more understanding since you raised two long haired/tattooed/pierced boys". I'm wondering what my mother's reaction is going to be. She won't be as polite as chris' mom. She will be BLUNT. When they knocked on the front door and i opened it to let them in Jim (chris' dad) laughed so hard and pointed at my hair. He thought it was a riot. I don't think he would care if my head was bald when we get married. hee okay i think my bucky bird is waking up and i have to go sing Happy Birthday. :) Tuesday, April 27, 2004
Panic attacks. I hate them and i had them all day yesterday. I finally had to take a melatonin tablet to knock myself out last night. Then this morning i felt fine until after i dropped off chris then they started again. So i came home and made some chamomile tea. Around 9:30 i decided to try and take a cat nap. I knew i had to be up and out of here by 10am so we could get to the library.
I felt better after my nap. We ran to the library then went and got lunch. So far so good. I hope it stays this way. It must be the closing, the wedding, and the parents all being here together. I kinda feel like my mom is going to forget that we are getting married this weekend. She called Saturday and while we were talking mentioned that she would come to bring the couches the weekend of the 8th. I suddenly realized she has forgotten that we are getting married. I have only reminded her several times and she STILL keeps forgetting. Even after the bitchy statement she made when she realized that Chris' parents were coming for the wedding. "well when is it taking place because your father would be horribly offended if he wasn't invited" This is what my mother does she tells people that my father would be the one upset or my father is the one mad because you did such and such. It's all bullshit it means she is mad and doesn't want to be the one to look like an asshole. Anyway i was pissed when she said that because i had already told her several times that the wedding was gonna be May 1st. But my mother listens to no one. She Always has her own agenda and doesn't hear what is going on around her. We could be talking about something and then ten minutes later she will ask me......"what did you say?" grrr It is so frustrating to realize that for 10 minutes she didn't hear a word you said. Or she will interrupt you to start talking about something else totally different. gee hmmm have no idea why i'm having panic attacks. lol Anyway everything will go well. And even if it doesn't no one is gonna die. :) Chris parents should be here tomorrow around lunch time or a little later. Friday, April 23, 2004
Ah add another asshole to the forum list. LOL For all that knowledge Nancy seems to think she has it certainly hasn't helped her with her manners. She is totally condescending and nasty. And she thinks she is just the smartest thing to walk the earth. And she just may be but she has a black heart.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Madness complete and total madness! Oy vey if there was anything else that we had to do right now I think that chris and I might end up pulling our hair out together. Poor chris is totally swamped at work and he is trying to take care of all the house buying stuff and wedding stuff. We had to do a lot of haggling with the seller. This week we did the inspection and my mother was in town.
That was only two times this week over night. Her and my nana were on their way to Mississippi to take care of her brother joe. And they stopped here on the way up and on the way back to spend the night. We have also been trying to find some clothes for chris to wear on the day of the wedding. He found some black jeans to wear and he looks hot in them! ;) he wanted to buy some dress slacks or something like that. I said “no way jose” cause he would never wear them again. I wanted him to buy something he was gonna use again. I also had him sold on some converse all star high tops but oh no he decided at the last second that maybe those wouldn’t be acceptable. WTF? I had to do the “who’s getting married?” for the millionth time. I think he keeps forgetting this is about us not what our parents or friends think. If they don’t like the way that we are dressed well then they should just keep it to themselves. I know if he buys dress shoes he will never wear them again and he won’t feel comfortable in them the whole day. What are ya gonna do huh? Can’t argue with him. I finally told him to do what makes him happy. If he wants to wear a tuxedo or go naked it won’t matter to me. J Me on the other hand, I got that dress and plan to wear it again and again. I am also not concerned with shoes. I will be barefoot. I think he may end up doing just that. But he hates to be barefoot so that is a far stretch too. Now we just have to find someone to marry us. That is proving to be a big pain in the ass. Chris is also trying to take care of that. Everyone we call either won’t do it on a weekend, is booked, or wants our marriage license tomorrow. ? I don’t understand that one. This judges assistant said he was available and would even do a non-religious ceremony but that we would have to get the money and our license to him by tomorrow at noon! He is all the way in downtown. Geesh I will not be able to do it today. I’ve got too much to do and not enough time. So he is calling around to other people. Now we found out that if we want to do it in the park we will have to ask permission and probably pay some sort of fee. We are only going to have our parents, my cousin, and our girls there. But we still are gonna have to ask. Hmph. I say lets just hope that the closing goes well and we get the keys right away. Then we can do it in the backyard of our first house together. Awwww And now the drier has decided to die on us. I am blogging at the washeteria while I wait for my clothes to dry. Our washer works fine so I washed a couple of loads and now I’m drying them here. Wait it gets worse. LOL Chris called and so far cannot find the part locally. We may have to order it and wait for it to come in. pooey And on top of all of that I am just plain stressed thinking about my family meeting chris’ family. I’m worried about how well the mom’s will get along. They both tend to be control freaks so this could get scary. The dad’s I don’t worry about they will be fine. Heh well I hope so anyway. I’m just glad that the brothers don’t have to meet. Okay I’m just glad that MY brother doesn’t have to meet anyone. Chris’ parents are coming on Wednesday and will leave on Monday. I don’t understand the need to stay so long. I mean I love ‘em but can’t stand ‘em for too long. I would feel the same way if it were my parents. Well it looks like chris found the person who will perform the ceremony. She is gonna cost a pretty penny $275! wowee wow wow. Now tomorrow i will try calling the park to see if they will allow us to have it there. Sunday, April 18, 2004
gripes i am so sick of feeling dizzy and nauseous. I sure hope this is just the glorious start to allergy season and it will pass. I can't remember if the same thing happened last year or not. But i do know that with each passing year i get worse. The older i get the more things i find out i'm allergic to. ugh. I never had problems like this with allergies when i was younger. blech pooey.
Even the girls are suffering with sniffles, sneezes, runny noses, red eyes and nausea. Jewel told me the other day that she felt like throwing up all the time. :( poor baby, i know how she feels. She has circles around her eyes, happens every year. Oh and snap-ah she goes by Jewel because Novena was a name to make my father happy. I wasn't all that keen on naming her that. But my father wanted some sort of "traditional" name. So she got Novena, Marina got Rose (after my mom's cousin) and Portia Anais was chosen by me and chris. My parents got absolutely no say and if felt good. :) See what i mean my parents tried for too long to rule over my life and i sat back and let them cause it was just easier than fighting. Funny thing is that when chris adopts them we are going to let them change their names if they want. Marina has said she wants to rename herself Morticia. LOL Along with Chris' last name it should fit perfect! I don't know if Jewel will want to change her name. Oh gosh i had to have a big talk with jewel yesterday. She came to chris asking why we don't trust god. ugh. So i had to explain that it wasn't just a trust issue that we had many questions and just didn't believe in jesus and that god. Apparently the same two little boys are speaking to her about god a lot. So i asked her if it bothered her and she started to cry. I thought oh my what can they be saying to her? But then she explained that she was crying because she thought i would be upset if she admitted that she enjoyed talking to them about it. *knife in heart* So i calmed her down and explained to her that just because me, dad, and marina didn't believe did not mean that she couldn't. I told her that if she enjoyed hearing about it and talking to her two friends about it, then fine she should continue to do it. That she was not doing anything wrong and that we all are different and if that is what makes her happy then she should just enjoy it. My poor guy. I never thought i made them feel like they couldn't follow what their hearts desired. Oy i felt an inch tall. :( I did tell her that she cannot expect to change anyones mind and that if she enjoyed it fine. But not everyone does and you cannot force it on them. She understood this but she is only 7 she may change her tune several years down the road. Gosh next she'll probably ask me to have her baptized. LOL Moving to the new house will move her into a new school so i don't have to worry about the mini-preachers following her. But the idea is there and the wheels are turning. Friday, April 16, 2004
Geesh i am so sick of the bossy, i know everything attitude from some of the bitchiest members of a certain forum. I hate that 'I am so smart and know everything and if you dare contradict me i will be as nasty as i want to be without being called on it' attitude. And not only that but all my "buddies" will come in to defend me and ream you. That superior attitude is so lame. I think that it in real life that can't get away with treating people so shitty so they come to the forums to look for someone to abuse.
It's like being surrounded by kids on the playground. And i would love to say something to these assholes but don't ya know i would end up with a slapped hand for speaking up. Not to mention i don't think i could curb the urge to shout YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE. okay i should stop bitching now or i'll end up getting sick again. BTW i'm not pregnant! I think i'm having more stomach problems because i ran out of my acid reflux medicine. My father has not gone to mexico to get more and my stomach is reacting by puking. I have some backup all natural Acid-ease. It doesn't help long term like the omeprazol so i will just use this temporarily until one of us can get to mexico again. Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Didn't get to finish earlier.
We are planning all sorts of things for the backyard. I definitely want some sort of pond. There is a place around the corner from us that has a beautiful one set up in front of a nursery. They are a small nursery and they do the ponds. We are planning a deck and maybe a special sand box. I'm not too sure about that because i noticed that the neighbors have "outside" cats. Don't want them thinking that the sand box is a giant litter box. We will also have the trampoline and the swingset. Chris just called me a minute ago. He said our agent spoke with the sellers agent. Originally the seller agreed to have someone exterminate the bees and we would pay for the removal of the hive. If the cost went over $500 we were going to ask him to help cover some of the cost. We didn't expect that it would but just wanted to cover our butts. So this morning our agent found out that the guy had someone come out exterminate and have the hive removed. WTF?? The guy fought like you woudln't believe to absolutely not cover any part of the bee problem. Everything we offered he said no to. Then we finally said okay you take care of the extermination and we will replace the missing fire detectors ourselves. And we will take care of the bug extermination. I didn't think the bug extermination was necessary anyway. That was our agent's doing, she just said i'm gonna add it cause she saw one dead tree roach. She is originally from New Jersey but she has been in Texas long enough to know about tree roaches. Everyone gets one in their house every once in a while. No matter how immaculate they will find a way in. Now if there were any tiny roaches then i would have wanted the extermination. But one dead tree roach does not a bug infestation make. :) So anyway the seller had the extermination done and then had the exterminator remove the hive. They removed 65 pounds of honey! The bee problem had been going on for 4 years! I thought that the problem could not be too big because i thought that bees did not survive the winter. Well i did some research and read that if well protected the hive can survive the winter unharmed. Well duh i guess there is plenty of protection to be offered in a chimney. Especially with our mild winters. So total this bee job cost the seller a little over $300. No wonder he put up such a stink. ;) Our agent is supposed to be heading out to the house later while the bee guy is there scraping out the mess. She is supposed to call me to come out with her. I hope it won't be around the time i have to pick up the kids. I'm curious to see how the inside of the chimney looks. I also would like to meet the exterminator. Chris talked to him and said he sounded like a really nice guy. He said he was in the same situation just 2 years ago. So he understood why we pushed so hard to have this bee problem taken care of. My biggest fear was that portia would get stung and have another horrible reaction. Marina has been stung by a bee before and she did fine. Although it got her in the eyelid and her eye was all swollen. Jewel and Portia have not been stung by bees. Neither has chris. So we are a little worried about how they will react. I grew up here, barefoot and reckless. I was a huge tomboy. I have been stung, bit, poked, cut, scraped and broken. LOL I'm like cement and leather, it takes a lot to cause any damage to my body. :) Usually if there is a bug or wasp or anything "gross" thing like that i'm the one sent to deal with it. We had a HUGE killer moth loose in the house a week ago and that was my problem to deal with. Ugh that thing waited in silence like a stalker. We all went to bed and turned out all the lights. I thought i heard buzzing but blew it off cause i've been having some funny noises going on in my ears and thought it was just that. Chris was totally out and i was about to doze off. Our bedroom door is right next to the front door. Our front porch light stays on all night and usually attracts a lot of different bugs. I kept hearing a tap buzz tap buzz. I thought it was a june bug outside so i paid it no mind. Then all of a sudden i hear a very loud buzz. Like giant plastic pterodactyl wings. I expected that the next noise i would hear would be the "KAA KAA" of the giant pre-historic killer swooping down on me and ripping me from my warm comfy bed. Well the light from the porch lights up our doorway just enough for me to make out a shadow of the evil killer that was waiting to attack. It was a BIG moth. I gasped and jumped up for my shoe. At that point poor chris sat up at warp speed and in a very paniced voice said "what?". I said "it's a big bug". So what does my knight in shining armor do? He takes a dive UNDER THE BLANKETS! At this point i'm kicking myself for not buying bug spray when the spring bugs first started showing up. So i run to my bathroom counter and grab some hairspray. The dive bombed me a couple of times. Once i actually smacked him with my shoe. Another good reason to wear wide birkenstocks, plenty big enough to smack nasty things. :) Then it landed on the side of an empty laundry basket. At this point chris decides to come out of his cocoon. The quietness fooled him into believing that i had taken care of the problem. So he sees the bug and jumps back. I tell him to smack it. He does and not very hard (he never smacks hard i don't know why i bothered to ask him to do it, when i smack i'm out for guts splatting everywhere). So then i start spraying hair spray on it. I don't know what i hope to accomplish by doing that. Maybe stick him to the laundry basket? duh So then it starts flying again. And chris is hiding again. *sigh* It flies behind the video tapes. AGH So then i just start spraying like crazy. Finally the damn thing can't fly and i push it out with a hanger. When he is out and paralyzed by my killer hair spray i lay into him with my shoe. I do not realize the over the top manic action i'm using to bring down that shoe until chris says "okay veronica you can stop i think it's dead". Me "oh i guess your right". But he was wrong. He picked it up with a paper towel is about to throw it in the trash. He thinks twice and decides to flush it, just in case it's still alive. When he throws the towel in the toilet that damn bug starts crawling around the paper! aahhh So he flushes comes out and gets back into bed. We are just laying there and i ask him "did you put the lid down in case it comes back up the toilet?" He answers (without laughing) "yes" Me: "did you close the bathroom door just in case he gets out from under the closed lid. Chris (very seriously): "yes" We both were awake for a while. And chris says "now i'm scared another one will come flying in" and i say "me too". Then we hear tap tap tap again. OH NO ANOTHER ONE? So i get up to go check and Phew it is just june bugs smacking the front door on the outside. aaahh So we go back to bed and finally doze off. Monday, April 12, 2004
I'm sitting here watching The Money Pit and i'm wondering..........could this happen to us? I really like the house (don't love it) but i like it. Oh okay i love the tons of space it will offer. I love that we won't be stacked one on top of the other. But the look of the house is just not what i like. Anyway houses of this size, in this subdivision are selling at around $127k. The house was appraised at $129k. We are offering $124k and i'm terrified that we are buying a lemon.
We will definitely need to replace the carpet and paint. But painting we were planning to do anyway. There are other little cosmetic things that we would like to change but nothing we can't do ourselves. What i'm afraid of is some BIG thing that is just hiding, waiting, lurking in the shadows. We are going to have the house inspected of course. But still i hate to get my hopes up and then have them shot down. We spent friday and saturday haggling with the sellers over little things. Mostly bees in the chimney. From the outside of the house you can see bees coming in and out of one of the gaps in the wood. Lots of bees. We are trying to get them to exterminate for the bees. And have the hive removed. But they want to treat for the bees themselves. Which probably involves a can of raid and some caulk. We were asking them to have it professionally done. Only because after extermination the entire hive has to be removed from the inside of the chimney. If not the honey will eventually seep out of the honeycomb and will eat through the sheetrock. It will also attract more bees. If it attracts more bees they could possibly just end up making a new hive. If these people had just performed simple maintenance they woudln't have such a problem with the bees now. But from the appearance of the house the first time we saw it i wouldn't say that these people care much about cleanliness or maintenance. Even after they knew we were coming back the second time they didn't even bother removing the huge panties from the bath tub faucet. I wanted to try out the jacuzzi tub to see if it really works. But i wasn't going to touch the panties. ewww If i was trying to sell my home it would be spotless and no way no how would i have my big 'ol granny panties hanging anywhere! Our realtor drew up a new contract and faxed it over to the sellers realtor on Saturday. I hope that we hear something one way or the other today. I am anxious to know. But i'm also very scared. Buying your first home shouldn't be so terrifying. Friday, April 09, 2004
Well Rick Perry can kiss my brown ass! Chronicle Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Now he gets to "fine" certain behaviors he finds "unhealthy". I find dragging religious views into politics unhealthy and think that any politician who stoops to that should be fined. Maybe then they will stop indulging in "unhealthy behavior".
If people want to piss away their money on gambling or tittie dancers let them. These are grown people making their own decisions and living their lives the way they want to. If they work for the money than no one has the right to tell them how to spend it. Including some dumb ass politician who thinks that his way is the only right way! But i tell ya i cannot wait to move out of here. Our new neighbors suck, not as bad as the old ones, but still they suck. LOL Every fucking morning at exactly 6:20 that ass munch starts up his truck. The truck is hella loud and has a loose belt. So it's out there squealing and he revs his engine OVER AND OVER. Apparently thats the only way the truck will continue to run, because that is how he always starts it. And they don't even park in their garage. They park in the driveway which happens to be just outside my bedroom. JOY Then he leaves the car running for like 10 minutes in the driveway before he drives off. All the while it's grumbling........ugh. The kids are off today and monday. I was hoping to sleep in late this morning but first the putz next door woke me up. Then i had to get up and take chris to the park & ride. grrr. I was being a total sore ass. But i got over it *phew*. I thought i could come back and sleep a little more but nope. Got back and jewlie two times buttinsky was wide awake. So i will be passing out early tonight. Wednesday, April 07, 2004
I feel pukey. wah. Monday night around 9pm i took a bath. Just before i got in i felt dizzy and noticed it slowly getting worse. While i was in the shower i tried to lift my foot to wash it and almost fell out of the tub. oy. So i got out and got dressed. I slowly started feeling worse. By 10pm the room was spinning. I got up from my chair to go to bed and when i lifted my foot to slide into my shoes i lost my balance again, almost falling back into my chair. I tried to lay in bed and had to get up running to the bathroom. Where i puked my brains out. YUCK. It hurt so much that i wanted to cry. LOL Poor chris just stood there offering water and tissue. After i finally finished i got up and stumbled to bed. I finally passed out.
When i got up the next morning i was still a little dizzy. Now at this point i'm thinking great what am i gonna do about today. See i have been babysitting for a friend of my cousin. Mary Alice (my cousin) has been babysitting this little guy. But on Monday she was told that her cousin David was found dead in his car. Mary lives with her cousin Cynthia who is david's sister. So they had to leave to go to Corpus to be with Alice (cynthia & david's mother). She called me and asked if i would watch steven (the baby) for the rest of the week. So i said of course. Now when i got sick monday night i thought shoot if i get sick tuesday michelle (baby's mom) will have to pick up the little guy so i don't get him sick. Not to mention we have had all sorts of stuff planned for this week. Meeting with the mortgage broker, looking at more houses, registering portia for school, baking for an MS bake sale. oy. Yesterday i felt better mid-morning and thought *phew* it has passed. But then last night before bed i started to feel a little dizzy and sick. But thankfully i fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. I forgot how much attention little babies need. This little guy does not like to lay down or to be in his car seat. He likes to sit up and be held. So i have not been able to do much around the house. Except when he is napping, which is very brief. He is napping now and when he gets up we will be heading over to the school to register Portia for next year. And to top it all off i am dizzy and sick to my stomach. I had a few hard gags this morning but nothing came up. So now i'll probably get sick while at the school. LOL won't i make an impression. I don't know if i am contagious because no one else in the house has gotten sick. But just in case i am washing my hands like a mad woman. I usually wash a lot as it is but this week by friday i will probably have chapped hands. heh. The good thing is tomorrow michelle will not be bringing the baby over. She is taking the day off because he has 4 month immunizations. And friday they are off for the holiday as is every one else in the bible belt. heh I think this is the house that chris wants. It is great. It is a 4 bedroom 2 1/2 bath. It also has a game room upstairs. The back yard is HUGE and it is on a cul-de-sac. *crossing fingers* And if we went with this one marina could stay at the same schools. yay 
Well i'm sure there is more that i wanted to blog but my poor spinning head can't think anymore. oh well. Tuesday, April 06, 2004
grrr. I don't know what is up with jewel lately. She is going to make me nuts.....okay nuttier. She keeps telling lies. Mostly when she thinks it will get her out of trouble or point the blame at someone else. Just now they were playing on the trampoline with marina and i hear crying.
Go out to see what is wrong and there she is wailing like someone ripped her arm off. She always always exaggerates her pain. So i call her and portia in and ask her what happened. I knew it happened between them because portia was trying to apologize and jewel is telling her it's okay. So they come to the patio and jewel immediately tells me how portia hit jewel in the knee causing jewel's knee to hit her face. And that she did it on purpose! I ask portia and she says "it was an accident". So i ask jewel were you guys bouncing around when she hit you? Yes. Well it was probably an accident uh uh mom she did it on purpose. So i ask marina and she says they were bouncing and that she didn't see what happened until after but that portia tried to apologize right away and jewel was ignoring her until i came outside. Jewel thought she was going to get in trouble for ignoring portia. She does this a lot and i correct her a lot. It had just happened coming off the bus. Portia tried to hand her a flower she picked for her and jewel threw up her hands and said (in a very snotty tone) okay just keep it. While she was trying to shove portia out of the way and walk around her. I threatened to keep her in her room for the rest of the afternoon. No tv, computer, phone, or trampoline. So i think that is the reason she was trying to shift the blame to portia. When i asked her if she was hoping that i would punish portia she said yes. ugh Sunday, April 04, 2004
Friday we were not able to see the broker about pre-approval. They did pull credit reports and gave us the okay on the house we were going to look at. Hopefully we will get in monday and be pre-approved for more. The first house we saw yesterday was cute. I think there were too many cosmetic issues that the sellers should have taken care of before putting it out there. We looked at a few houses and didn't really "love" any of them.
One house was totally disgusting. The bathrooms were a nightmare. The realtor even pointed out food on the walls in the kitchen. The ones she showed us yesterday were too small. We did see one that had more room that was really cute. I loved the kitchen it had a lot of natural light. But i think that the house was priced too high. We really like this realtor and are going to agree to work with her for a while. Right now we are trying to stick to the same area so marina won't have to switch schools. But we will just have to wait and see what happens. My cousin was able to watch the kids yesterday *phew*. It was nice not to have to answer a thousand questions while we were looking. :) She took them to see Home on the range. The kids had a good time. The realtor just called a while ago. She gave chris a list of houses to drive by. So we're off like a dirty shirt. Friday, April 02, 2004
Well well well. I'm always teasing chris that he thinks things through too much. That he needs to be more fly by the seat of his pants like me. It has come back to bite me in the butt. lol We saw a house in a nearby subdivision a few weeks ago and we both liked it. What we could see of it from the street. So we talked about taking a look at it. Of course it just got put off and then last weekend chris said lets go take a look. He forgot we were going to corpus. So we figured sometime this week he could go into work late and we would go see it. But then he found out his schedule was just too busy.
So yesterday i tell him to call the realtor and schedule a time for Saturday. He calls me back to tell me we have an appointment at 1pm. This is the house. Cool. But then he tells me he is going to call about pre-approval. oh okay. Then calls back again to tell me that friday afternoon (today) we will be going in to fill out paperwork and talk. Wha? that fast? We would have been doing it yesterday but he has to get his life insurance and stock info together. Wowee wow wow guess i can't accuse him of draggin' ass on this one. lol Hopefully we can get my cousin Mary to babysit the kids tomorrow. Taking them this afternoon is going to be a pain in the ass to deal with. A few weeks ago we were at the bank trying to take care of some stuff and Portia was being a total pain in the ass. She is definitely the spoiled rotten turd of the bunch. She hates to be told to wait her turn. If you ask her to wait just a minute (not to interrupt two people talking) she gets pissed. Jewel and marina can be asked to wait and they do. But oh no not your highness. punk. heh. I think i am going to have to pack some stuff in backpacks and separate them while we talk to this lady. And yesterday i got a call from the assistant principal at Marina's school. She was walking in the lunchroom talking to friends when she said "oh shit". I think the assistant principal almost had a stroke. She said "Marina said oh shit" and she said the oh shit part in a whisper. Then she said that's a really really bad word. So i had to explain to her that in our house it isn't a "bad word". It's just another word. I also explained to her that i understand why she called and that Marina does have to stick to the rules at school. She said she offered marina after school detention, except they have a hoity toity name for it........."the extended day". Or call her mom. Marina knew what i would want so she said call my mom. I also informed the AP that i felt that the punishment was way too harsh. The extended day consists of 3 hours of after school detention. Where they have to work on homework. Marina rarely has homework because she finishes it all in advisory. And if they don't have homework they have to write a paper on "inappropriate language". Boy i had a mouthful to say on that subject. Marina is a great kid and has never been in trouble at school. She always makes passing grades and is very well behaved in class. Definitely not a trouble maker we usually get compliments from teachers on what a good kid she is. And the AP did point out that marina has never caused any trouble and usually follows the rules. Except for this one slip. I had the AP explain the consequences for cussing in school. This way marina knows what to expect if she cusses in school again. I also tried to explain to her that she should use alternative words like doodie, caca, or shiza. Next time some mini-sermon spewing bible thumper decides to give marina an earful on her "sinful" ways i should ask for them to stop or be punished. Because to me that is more offensive than hearing someone cuss. My daughter may have different ways of expressing herself but she is not out there trying to push it on everyone on a day to day basis. Nor is she trying to excuse it by telling them that she is simply spreading the word of some god. And as forest gump would say "that's all i have to say about that". :) Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Oh lovely. We have new neighbors moving in and apparently their truck cannot be shut off. They have been back and forth unloading things since last night. And they never turn their truck off. And it's an old truck that is FUCKING LOUD. Oy last night i wanted to open up the window and scream "shut that piece o'doodie OFF!" But i held back. I fell asleep to the soothing sounds of rumbling truck. I think i might have to whip out the white noise machine.
Now all day today i have been listening to the rumbling of that damn truck in their driveway. It is so loud that i can hear it all through the house. I have issues with loud noises or maybe i just have "issues". Chris says that i can hear a gnat fart 10 miles away. Hopefully after they get all of their stuff moved in we won't have to hear the sound of that truck running after a certain time. I cannot wait until i have health insurance. I need to see a doc! On top of worrying about the numbness in my feet i now itch all over. I'm really hoping that is just an allergy issue. I have some very itch ezcema on my left eyelid. But on Sunday and Monday i started itching all over. Yesterday i took an antihistimane and it seemed to help. I wonder if it could be the laundry soap. I switched recently and am now switching back to my old one to try and rule that out. Meanwhile i'm gonna end up with raw skin because i can't quit SCRATCHING. Monday, March 29, 2004
Our short visit with my family was not as painful as i thought it would be. My brother understood what i explained to him last time. He was much better behaved when it came to the girls. We had fun and laughed a lot. I even got to laugh at my dad for a change. He got his panties in a huge bunch over my sister-in-law using the dreaded F word. oy vey. I had to pinch myself so i wouldn't laugh at him while he was on his soap box. A few minutes later he gave me a piece of grilled tortilla. I giggled cause with the first bite i thought to myself "this is fucking good" LOL
He raised heathens who went on to marry heathens and they are going to raise more little heathens. :) While at my mom's i had to run into HEB late in the evening. I just happened to stroll past a display of stuffed COW PARADE cows. I love these cows. I have wanted to start a collection of the little ceramic cows but i'm afraid that my little hellions will find a way to get a hold of them. So you can imagine the squeal of delight that i let out. Not such a funny thing to sober country bumpkins in the middle of the store late at night with a drunken long haired hippy on my arm. I immediately snatched up the four that i just had to have. Of course chris is so looking forward to sharing his bed with four other cows. Marina went back the next day and bought two more cows for herself. I will be hitting our local HEB this week to see if they have some different ones. 
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Saturday was jewel's birthday, first day of spring. It was a good day for all of us. We had planned to spend the whole day at a rocket launch that was put on by the NHRA. A rocket club that chris belongs to.....Northwest Houston Rocket yada yada yada. Anyway the night before chris decided to run to walmart after the kiddies were in bed to buy jewel something special from him. A new plane, she already had one but a kid at the park didn't want to give it back to chris and he broke the tailfin off squeezing it against himself (so he didn't have to give it back) lol.
Well he decides to take his sweet time and shop. OY meanwhile i'm waiting here at the house wanting to go to sleep because i know we have to be up early in the morning. He calls because he is having a hard time deciding whether or not to buy another lawn chair. D'oh, i tell him sure go ahead and ask him if he can kinda hurry it up because i'm really tired. 35 minutes later he makes it home, at 12:30. We go to sleep and the alarm goes off at 7am, i wanted to slam it against a wall. Instead i hit the snooze and roll over. And don't ya know the guy who never EVER hears that alarm during the week jumped right out of bed. He is never the first one up and he never acknowledges the alarm, the phone, crying kids, puking kids or SO, maybe not even fire but we have never had to test that one yet. But the morning of his first group rocket launch at he is out of bed like a shot. Trying to sweet talk me into getting out of bed. My response: YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THIS MORNING WHEN YOU WERE OUT SHOPPING SO LATE LAST NIGHT!!!! Was i a bit crabby? Nope i was down right bitchy. Poor chris. But i dont' think he really cared because obviously he was really looking forward to this day and even bitchy 'ol Roni wasn't going to bring him down. So we packed up the car and off we went. It was out in the sticks (Fulshear, TX) on someones farm. We drove through a small town resembling Mayberry and down a long paved road. Along that road were some cute houses not too big but not too small, with huge yards. I would love to live out there. At least that's what i was thinking on the drive out there in the daylight. Will get to that in a minute. We did see one house that i referred to as Southfork. Remember Dallas....the night time soap opera from the 80's? It was for sale. I also saw a cute little church that was abandoned. I told chris we should buy that and convert it into living space. Marina practically screamed "live in an old church?" I think she was afraid of it being haunted or something. LOL Anyway we finally came to the entrance to the farm and turn in. We had to drive down a long winding dirt driveway. We passed a pasture with cows right up against the fence near the road. The kids were shouting out the window to get the cows attention. They were beautiful animals and looked at my kids like they were nuts. :) We passed a house and continued down the road to the barns. After that there was no road just open pastures. Wha?? what do we do now. Out in the pasture to the right we see what looks like two cars. So we are thinking should we just drive out there? Then chris notices a woman near one of the barns brushing a horse. So we ask her and she says just drive through the pasture on out there. So off we go 4-wheeling. It was horrible bumpy. We couldn't see holes because the grass was so green and full. So every once in a while we would dip hard and everyone would get whipped around in the car. LOL It was funny. We finally make it out to the other cars and find out they are there setting up the fireworks. There was supposed to be a big show at the end of the day. After the rocket launch. So we chat for a minute and they tell us that the rocket guys are over in the other pasture. D'oh. So we chat with them for a few minutes and decide to try driving over to the other side. As we are driving over to the other side i notice a bunch of mud and water. So now i'm pooping my pants. I said "if we get stuck how are we expected to get back out?" I'm asking chris did they tell you it would be in the middle of a pasture like this? And of course i get the um no. So i ask him to get out and make sure we are not about to drive into mud. He says no i can see that there is no mud. I'm thinking how can you see through the grass? But tell him to please get out and check. He gets out, walks around and says it's safe. Off we go bouncing all around and crunching these hard stick like things growiing up from the ground. We found the opening in the gate that leads to the 3rd pasture where the other rocket people are. Ah finally. I'm thinking now the kids can get out and play. The night before Chris had bought a huge blow up ball for them to bounce around. We also brought snacks, drinks and crochet for me. So park and i notice these huge mounds of 'dirt' all over the place. SHIT FIRE that is when i realize they are ant piles. caca caca caca So now i'm thinking okay we are going to have to watch from the car cause i am not letting Portia out in that. There is no way she will pay close enough attention to dodge the piles, especially while kicking a ball around. Then another added bonus lots and lots of cow patties. hee hee hee I even got to watch a guy slip and slide around on one. eewww So we sat in the car while chris went off to check in and chat with other people. This is when i realized we did not need to be there at the butt crack of dawn like chris insisted. "but they said it would start at 9am". There was hardly anybody there when we got there. hmph So the kids played in the car and snacked. Marina read her magazines she brought (thank goodness). And i crocheted. Then start the requests for the bathrooms, myself included. So chris goes to ask where the port-o-potties are located. "Sorry they are running late and have not arrived yet they should be here shortly." Wha?? Try explaining that to Jewlie two times buttinsky (her new nick name). So we wait and wait. An hour later they still were not there. Chris says let me launch a couple of rockets and then we will go. So he gets them ready launches them and starts putting us off. So we rolled up the windows and turned on the a/c. It was getting really hot, the dashboard temp thing said 93. And there were lots of bugs and everytime one flew in the car window the kids flipped out. He didn't really want to leave and i didn't want him to have to either. I knew how much he was looking forward to this. Even jewel, she managed to deal with no bathroom and distract herself with watching the launches. But when ya gotta go ya gotta go and i had to #2 baaaddd. I know i know TMI. So finally he says we are leaving. Joy we head home. I could tell he was totally bummed. By this time it was noon and still no potties. In the car i tell him maybe we should head home have a potty break, grab some lunch and then head back. That way the sun is starting to set and it's cooling off. Hopefully by then the bugs will start to go away too. So he gets happy all over again. *phew* crisis avoided. Jewel picked Ninfa's for lunch then changed her mind to Outback. Chris promptly seconded that motion. LOL Everything was so good. Except when they brought out my fried shrimp (new item on the menu) it had corn meal breading. YUCKY POO I said something out loud and the waitress offered to take it back. I said no let me at least try it i might like it. I really hate to waste food. So i bit into it. It was okay and i figured with some cocktail sauce i could force it down. I had to ask for some because the plate only came with tartar (which i love but not with sweet pickles, guess which restaurant adds sweet pickles?) I'm such a picky pain in the ass eater. LOL Oh and there was some other sauce it was supposed to be aboriginal fire sauce. Well it was nasty. It was a thick vinager based sauce. It was red from something but i could taste nothing but the vinegar. blech pooey. So she brought me a big bowl of cocktail sauce and tells me she mentioned my dislike of corn meal to the manager. She said he had them batter up some shrimp in a tempura like batter that they use on something else. And that it would be out shortly. I told her that was absolutely not necessary. She said too late i already took care of it and said to let whoever at the table wanted my shrimp to have at it. I did not have the heart to tell her that i don't like tempura batter either. hee hee hee. It was just super nice of her to offer something else i figured i would just eat it and enjoy it. So it came and looked yummy. I tried it and it was really good. Very crunchy like i like my breadcrumb coated shrimp to be and they were hot, right out of the fryer. So i started to chomp away happy that i was going to have my shrimp when............yack gag hooey...........i hit a shell in the middle of one of the shrimp. Nothing makes me gag harder than shell on shrimp, egg shells, or hair in my mouth. Chris knew and so did marina, both were sitting on either side of me. Chris said "oh shit shell" and marina threw her napkin in front of me and said "here spit up in this". LOL So funny they know me too well. So that was that i couldn't eat anymore after that. Chris happily gobbled a few and said wrap up the rest to take home. After that we went to Hobby Lobby for chris to get more rocket engines while i waited in the car with the kids. I was chatting on the phone to my mother. She called as were leaving outback to sing happy birthday to jewel. That is one thing my mother does very well......sing. She used to sing in a Tejano band when i was a kid. And she sang all over the house. She's got some set of pipes, that bitter old woman. ;) I am going to Corpus next weekend for a little goodbye send off for my brother and Veronika. They are moving to North Carolina April 6th. They found a beautiful house (3/2 & half/1) with a yard for the dog. My sister-in-law has wanted this for a very long time, the house not the move. So i am glad that she is getting it. Hopefully soon there will be the pitter patter of little feet. *sigh* And hopefully we will picking up 2 couches. My mom is buying a new living room set and has offered us her old one. It is in excellent condition because they never use it. Hardly anyone ever goes into the living room. We are always in the dining room, out under the patio, or in my old bedroom which is now a tv room. The living room has my old big screen and the couches......boring. heh So anyway after we were done there we headed back out to the field. Chris got to launch 2 more times and one went off in very brushy field. I thought for sure he would be searching for that one for days. Lucky for him there was a woman out there retrieving one of hers and she picked up chris'. Then at 6pm the launch was over. We all headed up to the top of the hill by the barns. Parked and waited for the fireworks to begin. We kept having to dodge huge bugs. One actually landed in chris' hair eek and he had to try not to spaz out cause he was talking to some guy. Chris is terrified of any big bugs and usually freaks out pretty hard. But of course he had to keep up appearances.........which i think were shot to shit when he had to have his 13 year old daughter smack it out of his head cause he didn't want to touch it. heh weenie. His parents called to wish jewel a happy birthday. After the phone call we sat and waited a long time and due to EVEN MORE disorganization these guys did not have it fully set up 1 hour after dark. These goobers decided to run their cable and such right across the trail that the rocket guys had to use to get back up to the barns. DUH why not run it somewhere else? Of course then they were being pissy with us when we had to go back down the hill just before the launch ended. I had to bite my tongue cause chris would have been pissed if i had voiced my opinions. lol I was secretly thinking that the same asshole that planned the area where the fireworks would be laid out must have been the person who took care of ordering the port-o-potties. schmuck. Anyway after my ass was almost completely numb and portia had pissed off and hurt everyone in the car. We decided to leave. The kids didn't mind they were tired of smacking the big ass bugs with their shoes. We ended up having to sit in the back of the truck up there too. We thought that the ant piles were not up on the hill, wrong. I was the lucky person to find that out. They bit me on feet cause i was wearing my birkenstocks and not covered shoes. oopsie. So we reloaded everything and started down the dirt road. Marina was in the third row and all of a sudden she starts shushing everyone. So i turn down the radio and we are all listening. She says "do you hear that? it's the sound of BIG WINGS FLUTTERING." By the end of the sentence she was panicing and i thought for sure she would claw her own eyes out. So i pull over and listen. I can hear it too. Now all the kids are slowly starting to let out a shriek. ya know the kind that starts out low but eventually causes your ears to bleed? Chris hops out, runs around to the back and pops the hatch. The interior light comes on and we see the offending BUG. From the screams emitted in that very moment you would have thought it was some form of huge mutant people eating creature. It was june bug. Thank goodness marina is learning to deal with these situations in a calm manner (except for the screaming) I think the screaming helps her think clearly. Because before we know it the mutant is swooping down on Portia's head and she is trapped in her car seat. So all she can do is writhe around screaming and begging for her life. So marina, while screaming, calmly grabs portia's shoe and smashes the bug just before it swallowed portia's little head. Immediately the screaming stops. I hand marina some tissue paper and she wipes it up and puts it in a baggie. All the while chris is standing there with the hatch open. So then i scream "shut the hatch before more get in" LOL Wonder why my kids panic when they see a bug? hmmm Now marina insists on sitting in the second row with her sisters cause who knows how many other blood suckers could be waiting for her in the back? I mean the chupacabra could possibly have snuck in just before the june bug. heh So now for the drive back out of there. It is pitch black out there. No street lights and the few houses here and there are too far from the street to provide much light. So i stop the car and turn off my head lights. More screams from the back seat "momma don't do that, drive now, get out of here!!" And then the one voice i thought i wouldn't hear Chris "okay your freaking me out please turn the lights back on and lets get out of here." LOL So yes i would love to live out there during the day but at night i would be scared. Only because if we needed help the neighbors would not be close enough. So the boogey man could do away with me before help even got there. But it sure was beautiful during the day. Monday, March 15, 2004
Jewel's birthday is coming up. My pregnancy with jewel was such a sad time in my life. I remember being scared shitless from the moment i found out i was carrying her. I knew that Mike was not someone i wanted to have children with. When I found out i was pregnant i was trying to figure out how to get out of the relationship without getting physically hurt. Then BAM i was pregnant.
At first i thought i was sick. I had taken a diuretic that someone had given me at work. I thought i was bloated because i was pre-menstrual. So i took it and felt like shit that afternoon. I thought for sure it was the pill. But it didn't pass, i kept feeling horribly tired and nauseous. One of my co-workers said "oh my could you be pregnant?" By that point everyone in my life knew i wanted out of the relationship with mike. My only thought was "fuck me" i guess i could be. I mean saying no to sex with mike was completely out of the question because when he wanted sex the only acceptable answer was yes. So i went home that night and took a test........when i saw the positive reading i cried. Mike was a very possessive, jealous and vindictive person. There was so much abuse going on. I don't know why i stuck around and put up with it. Deep down i kept feeling like i could change what was going on and have a normal relationship with him. That if i just loved him more he would come around. I guess in the beginning i was just plain being stupid. Oh he behaves that way because he loves me.......duh at that point i couldn't have bought a clue. Mike and i were together for almost a year when his father moved in with us and things were going great. His father helped stabilize our home. He pointed out a lot of things to mike. How i was so dedicated to caring for them and marina. How i worked all day but still came home made dinner and cleaned the house spotless. I think he helped Mike appreciate me a little more. Mike quit going out alone all the time. He spent more time with us and was generally in a better mood most of the time. We lived in a big house with a huge yard that was fenced. It was great while it lasted. Big Mike (mike's father) worked for the ATF he was pretty high up and made excellent money. Shortly before i met mike and became involved with him big Mike had lived with a girl. She told him that she was in her 20's. At that time big Mike was around 42/43. Well he found out that the girl was only 16/17 something like that but underage. I saw pictures and this girl looked as old as i did at the time. I was 25. Anyway the story that i was told was big Mike, Mike and waylon (the younger brother) were at the house the day he asked this girl Trish to move out. Because of his job he could get into some serious shit if this ever got out. So waylon left somewhere to run and errand. When he came back she was gone and so was mike jr. Big mike said she had left. That should have been the end of that but big mike and mike were the last to see trish.......ever. No one saw her after that day she just dissappeared. Her mother filed a missing person report and after much prodding convinced the police to take a closer look at big mike. I guess the ATF also had questions. By this point we had people trying to question all of us. I avoided them like the plague because i had no clue what was going on, the whole trish thing was before i was even in the picture. March 25, 1996 big mike went to corpus for what we assumed was business. He met my mother at work so that he could pick up something from her for me. Then he immediately came back to houston. The next day he told us that he would have to head to El Paso for business on the 27th. This happened a lot so we didn't think anything of it. He traveled out of the city several times a week so no big deal. When he would leave he always left the name of the place where he would be staying, the room number and times he could be reached. Big mike was a very organized man. He always had his pager on him and never took very long to call us back when we paged him. He also kept a file cabinet in his room with all of his personal things in order. He told me many times that if anything ever happened to him to be sure and check the file cabinet for the folders with our names on them. There would be explanations on how to take care of his personal matters if we needed to. He told me this because both of his boys were like big children. Mike had kids with two other women and his father paid them support. He also gave them whatever they asked for. On the 27th he woke us up for work and said he was leaving for El Paso. We all said goodbye. I got dressed for work and left. Later that day Mike called me to tell me he had been paging his dad and was getting no answer. He asked me to try so i did and got no answer. Mike wanted to talk to his dad because people had been trying to question him and his brother that day. Bothering them at work and now at the house. I left work early and came home. I got there just after the investigators had left. We were pretty frantic by this point. Not being able to get a hold of big mike was unheard of. Mike's mother came over (they were divorced) and so did waylon. We just sat around waiting hoping soon that the phone would ring and it would be him. Sadly that did not happen. At midnight someone knocked on the door i opened it to 2 men in suits. I ran straight into big mike's room and opened his file cabinet. Sure enough the envelopes were sitting right on top. I opened mikes and there was a letter (i didn't read it) digging further i found credit cards, keys to his car (he took the government car that morning) and other personal stuff. I stepped out of big mike's room into the sitting room just outside his door. That's were the 2 suits were telling mike, waylon and brenda that big Mike's body had been found. He had shot himself in the head. We spent several days locked up in the house trying to come to grips. We didn't sleep that first day and half. My aunt patti came to help with marina and we finally collapsed from exhaustion. We finally sucked it up long enough to deal with the funeral arrangements. At this point his fucked up crack head mother tried to act like the perfect mom who was still married to big mike. Give me a break she was just like the rest of mike's dysfunctional family. Fucked up and on some sort of drug, standing around with their hand held out. Mike was in no condition to push anyone away. He was like a small child completely vulnerable and he would have given in to anything. I had to be the bad guy and push away the crazies. Trying to give him and waylon a little stability. I tried very hard to keep things upbeat and normal. I held them when they cried and tried to keep food in them. I closed myself up in the bathroom and ran the water so that i could grieve without them seeing me fall apart. Just a few years before my grandfather and one of my favorite uncles commited suicide within a few months of each other. It was horrible and i needed the stability that my friends provided me during that time. So i knew no matter how much i hurt i had to suck it up around them. After the suicide mike was so much more unstable that it really terrified me. That was when i decided i should get out. He received a large inheritance. So he began to buy things. Then in July I found out i was pregnant, he was so excited. I was due the same day his father died. Things started to get strange after the inheritance came. His ex who he had two daughters with decided this was the time to strike. She had been receiving money from big mike for both girls but still kept receiving aid from the state. So as far as the state was concerned he owed and he owed a lot. They wanted $10,000 right away or they were going to throw his butt in jail. He wanted to fight to prove that she had been receiving child support but i think in the end he figured it was just easier to pay. I felt like he was obligated anyway because they were his girls. I guess i also knew that eventually he would piss away the money and daddy wouldn't be there to continue making those payments. This was the point where my pregnancy was no longer a happy thing for him. I was about 3 months along when he started to act really shitty towards me. I think the thought of having to support another child freaked him out. So he lashed out. I left and went to live with my friend MaryAnn. She had just broken up with her girlfriend and we were shoulders to cry on. :) Plus marina loved to spend time with her. I considered an abortion at this point. I just kept thinking could i live with myself or would i continue to beat myself up over this forever? I was already working my ass off to support marina on my own without any help from her dad. Could i do it again? One of our friends offered to adopt the baby i was carrying. She said she knew she would never have the opportunity to conceive her own child with her girlfriend (they would have to find a sperm donor). Plus they loved marina. She promised they would never ever shut me out of their lives that they would always welcome me. That was when i knew that no matter what i would not have an abortion. If i had to work 5 jobs i would figure out how to support this kid. Mike came back begging and making promises. I loved him and wanted to be with him. We moved into an apartment in The Heights. I got marina started in a private pre-school. She only stayed there a few months because mike decided he had better ways to spend his money. (The first clue that i had made a HUGE mistake, little did i know they would only get worse.) So i started her in public school and enrolled her at a very nice daycare that was just a few blocks from our house. She loved it there. Probably because things were a total mess at home. I ended up losing my job and that was a big problem at home. Mike felt like he was going to have to totally support me and didn't want to do that. Of course i was trying to find another job but who wants to hire someone who is 6 months pregnant? The abuse got worse and i just couldn't deal with it anymore. He was leaving all the time and not telling me a thing about what he was up to. Once we went to dinner with his brother, his cousin and his brothers girlfriend it was a lot of fun. When we left he dropped me at home and said he was going to take his cousin home. He didn't come back for 3 days. I was terrified. I had called hospitals, the morgue, the police and all his relatives. On the morning he came home he walked in like nothing happened and went to bed. I went out to his car and found a girls phone number. I called her and she said that yes he had been with her for the last 3 days but that they were just friends and that her boyfriend was with them part of the time too. whatever. Karma bit him in the butt that night. He didn't set the alarm on his brand new trans am and parked it on the street. The next morning it was gone. I was 7 months pregnant, he came home one day picked a fight, smacked me around and left. I figured he would be gone for a while so i called a friend and asked him to come help me pack. Then i called my mother and asked her to rent a u-haul and come pick us up. She said she would be there first thing in the morning. Then i called my uncle paul to come and be our "bodyguard". I also called my friend julie to have her and her husband come and help. I packed all night and managed to get it all done. I slept for a little while on the couch. I was scared and sad. Everyone showed up (except paul) and we started loading up the truck and u-haul. We were almost done when mike showed up with his cousin. He stormed in and started to threaten everyone. By this point our landlord was there too. He favored me over mike and asked him to leave. Mike was pissed and picked up marina's 4-wheeler (like a barbie jeep thing) and was gonna toss it on my head. My mom pulled out a gun and pointed it at him. No one knew she had the damn thing. I shit and begged him to put down the toy and just leave. He did after he shoved me and knocked me down. Everyone took a huge breath. *phew* I went back to corpus and my mother made my life a living hell for the next few months. She was not supportive at all. She just kept reminding me about how good i was at fucking up my life and that once again i had fucked it up royally. She also liked to remind me that she was not a mother to those two kids and that i better not ask for help raising them . BLAH BLAH BLAH BITCH BITCH BITCH. I started to wonder who i was better off with. At least mike would leave and i didn't have to deal with him for a few days at a time. heh I didn't see or talk to Mike for a month. Then i went to Houston to visit friends because i had to get away from my mom. I went straight to his place. He behaved warm and loving. He was happy to see me and was surprised at how big i was. He kept hugging me telling me how much he missed me. I was hooked. What a fool i felt like. I couldn't tell my mother to butt out of my life and i couldn't say no to the man who was mistreating me. I went back to corpus under the impression that when jewel was born he would be there. I went into labor early and called his cousins house. They knew where he was and would tell him to head out right away. I had called from my mother's cell phone so of course that is the number he called back. Little did i know my fucking mother was telling him how he was not welcome at the birth and that i didn't need him. WTF?? He had a gig with his band in Dallas that night. He had already cancelled and was coming to houston when my mother reamed him. He assumed it was what i wanted so he broke off contact with me. But i did not know any of this for a long long time. My mother told me a completely different story. She said yeah he called and said he had a gig in dallas that was more important so he won't be coming. I was heart broken. I cried for a week. My labor was stopped. I didn't have her that day. The next morning i had to pack up and drive myself home from the hospital. I had no one with me that day. I went home, filled my prescription, climbed into bed and started to cry. I spent the next month in an emotional turmoil. My mom was more and more hostile and i had no one to talk to. I wasn't eating right and generally not taking care of myself. I had not gained much weight and was really tiny compared to my first pregnancy. I woke up on March 20th at 1am in labor. My mom drove me to the hospital and i begged for an epidural. I got one and was able to sleep until around 8am when my moms horrendous snoring woke me up. By 9:15 i was pushing her out. She was born at 9:20. They cleaned her up and handed her to me. I was able to immediately start breastfeeding her. I thought everthing was going well. Our bosses wife was there and she walked over and was looking at jewel. Apparently i was so out of it that i didn't realize that she had stopped sucking. She was turning blue. Mrs. B was screaming at one of the nurses to do something. Next thing i know they take her from me and everyone left the room. I was alone and crying again. Finally my mom comes back in to tell me they got her breathing again. They decided that they needed to keep her for observation. I was supposed to stay in that room, a nice big private one, because that is what we had arranged ahead of time. But they said they were short on private rooms and had a woman in labor coming in, would i give up my room and move to a semi-private aka shared. I figured well why not i cannot even hold my baby. why should i want to be totally alone. I was moved and introduced to the roommate from hell. Her huge family was there and they were loud. They stayed until visiting hours were over. I was still being told that i could not see jewel. My heart was breaking more and more with each passing minute. All i wanted to do was shower and sleep. The woman sharing the room kept her tv cranked up and then passed out watching it. I only knew this because she was snoring LOUD. I finally called a nurse and asked if they could give me something to knock me out. She came and gave me the pill and made the woman turn off her tv. Finally in the morning they told me i could see jewel. I was so happy but as soon as i saw her hooked up to all the tubes and wires my heart broke some more. And once again i was crying. She had an infection and was being treated with antibiotics, they were also monitoring her breathing and heart rate. Just to be sure she didn't stop breathing again. When i went back to my room a nurse came to talk to me. She said that normally they would give me the option of staying in my room extra days to be with the baby. But they were in need of the room and would have to discharge me that afternoon, without jewel. She had to stay 3 extra days. My mother did not miss the opportunity to remind me that if i had taken better care of myself while i was pregnant that my daughter would not be in the state she was in. Which was true but not something i needed my face rubbed in, i knew i had fucked up. I spent a lot of time up at the hospital. Only to here my mom tell me that i was neglecting marina. ugh nothing would be good enough. Jewel finally came home and i was so happy. MaryAnn called and wanted me to bring her to houston. I waited a week and off we went. It was nice to get a break from my mom. MaryAnn was really great and we had fun. She asked if i had told mike. I had no contact with him since my mother spoke with him. So i decided to go by his place alone and let him know. Apparently he had just broke up with the person he had been living with since he spoke to my mom. That night in the club in dallas he met a girl and stayed in fort worth with her. He was moving back just that day, two of her friends were helping him. I spent the evening with them. The next morning i went to pick up the kids and brought them over. He was in love with her but still more in love with himself. He asked me to come back. I waited a few months while i thought about it. Then one day he called my mom's house, which he wasn't supposed to do. My mom went ape shit. She had company over and yelled at me in front of them. I was standing there holding jewel feeling like i was 5. She got so worked up that she hauled off and slapped me off. I was so hurt. I said "mom it's not okay for him to hit me but it's okay for you to hit me?" She said "i'm your mother i'll do whatever i please" I packed up my car and left the next morning. I came back to houston and moved in with mike. We only stayed together until Jewel was 8 months old. By this time i was working again and decided i would stick to my promise of doing whatever i needed to do to take care of my girls. My girls went to corpus while i tried to sort stuff out. I moved into my grandmother's empty house. My grandmother took care of my girls most of the time because my mother also worked full time. I hated sending them there but i was dealing with a lot of stuff and couldn't drag the kids all around. They had already been through so much i felt like i had not been there for them like i needed to and i wanted to straighten out all the caca so i could bring them home. I was attacked 2 more times by mike and we weren't living together. I had to go to court and even filed for a restraining order. I was constantly hounded by him and his crack head mother. The same shit i had been dealing with our entire relationship. Crazy mom, crazy brother, crazy ex's and all the girls he cheated on me with. I was on the verge of going nuts. About 8 months later i met chris. I didn't want to be invloved with anyone and had avoided it until this point. I was afraid to trust him. I felt like he would pull the wool over my eyes like mike did. Like my mother did. We dated for a while and then started looking for an apartment together. We found one and that is another story for another time. Jewel is a great kid and i'm so glad i decided not to have an abortion. I would never have known this wonderful little being. She looks a lot like Mike's mom especially when she laughs & smiles. She has a huge heart and big mouth (she was just arguing with portia) lol. She doesn't know about mike the only dad she knows is chris. Chris wants to adopt marina and jewel. I'm scared to start the process. That will mean having to find mike to sign over his parental rights. I don't want him back in our lives. I don't want him to know where we are. Eventually we will have to tell jewel about him, but i'd like to put that off as long as possible. Her last name is my maiden name, because mike was not present at her birth to sign the certificate. So no questions about that yet. I'm so glad that we were all givin the opportunity to have the happy life i knew we deserved. My life is so much different now and so much happier. I wouldn't give it up for a bajillion dollars. We have been a family for almost 6 wonderful years. Someone made this comment.......People who choose to arrange their lives in certain ways are also choosing all that goes with that choice, and that includes certain benefits that are for legally married people only......WTF?? This attitude really chaps my ass. When i met chris i knew i wouldn't marry him. I love him like crazy but i don't see why we have to have our relationship given the okay by the state on a piece of paper. I would be perfectly happy living the rest of my life as his "girlfriend, SO, partner" whatever. Why should i have to pay the state to tell me what and who chris is to me? But if he dies tomorrow everything we own could be taken from me and handed over to his parents. Not that i see that happening but who knows. If I died tomorrow there is a possibility that my girls could end up with my parents. Just because he is not my "legal" spouse. If we both had will's that would help settle that, but can't they be contested? I can't be covered on his insurance. We decided together that i would be a SAHP, it's very important to us that one of us be here. So without my job i lost my benefits. He pays for his insurance but cannot decide who is covered on it. That is the most fucked up thing. I mean shit if i pay for it i decide who gets to use it, eat it, or wear it. But we cannot decide who gets coverage on his insurance. Until i am his "legal" spouse. So meanwhile me, marina & jewel are not covered. I have a hell of a time when i have to deal with something that is in his name. Like the power, phone, car, etc. I always get asked the "are you his wife?" well it would be easy to say yes, but most of the time i'm too concerned with being honest so i say no and of course that is when the call is terminated. This drives most people i know nuts, they will ask "why don't you lie?" because i'm a stickler for honesty........sorry. Even about little things. I also heard someone refer to our type of relationship to "playing house". heh I love the self righteous attitude that is oozing from statements like that. I wish it was playing then maybe someone else would have dealt with the shitty diapers, attitude from a teenager, dirty laundry, scrubbing toilets, vomit at 3am, runny noses, dishes....etc. Just because someone has gone through the "wedding ceremony" makes them no better than me and no different. I love our kids and chris the same. I wake up every morning and do the things my mom did in her married, young mom life. Everyone we know knows how much we love each other and that we have no intention of ending our relationship. I feel like we have been backed into a wall. I have been ill for months now. Not sure whats wrong because i cannot go to a doctor (it would kill us financially) because i have no insurance. So now chris and I are getting married. Just so that i can be covered. Marina and jewel will be covered too which is another reason i decided to give in and get the "license". It will not make us any closer. I will not change the definition of our relationship. But apparently it will give us some approval in society that neither of us was dying to get anyway. Saturday, March 13, 2004
I want a polar orange dry soda! I just had a brain fart and remembered how much i loved them. When we moved here i brought several 12 packs with me. The movers laughed while they were packing it. I remember while we lived in MA., my mom would ship Big Red soda to me. LOL I was just wondering out loud if chris' uncle could find it in the stores near him in Stamford......hmmm. Think he would be willing to schlep a couple of cases to Colorado this summer? ;)
Oh my poor mary called she is on her way over. Long story that i will have to share later. Readers digest condensed version, her boyfriend is an ass that has known for weeks that he is moving to CA., on Wednesday 3/17 and he told her last monday 3/8. And he has chosen to spend his last weekend in another town visiting family, he comes back the day before he is set to leave. :( oh door bell ringing. Friday, March 12, 2004
thanks katie.......
1. What was the last song you heard? Case of You--Joni Mitchell 2. What were the last two movies you saw? Chocolat and part of Beetlejuice. 3. What were the last three things you purchased? Two birdfeeders and seed. 4. What four things do you need to do this weekend? Sleep late, watch movies, stay up late, and eat. heh Spring break is this week. :) 5. Who are the last five people you talked to? Chris, jewel, portia, and marina. We have asked him to correct 3 big problems since we moved in. The dishwasher, a huge water leak in the attic that ran into the garage, and last friday a leak in the bathroom that was coming out of the vent for the fan. Which is another gripe altogether. We called on Friday and the guy came out on wednesday to look at it. 6 freaking days after we called! And to add insult to injury the dumbass knocked over a wooden bassinet that we have up in the attic. It came flying down the stairs and crashed onto the garage floor. Now it has knicks and scratches. :( We haven't even had the chance to use it. We were saving it for the next rug rat. And back to the reason for mom the builder. The same guy that fixed the a/c is the one who is supposed to put the screens up. On Wednesday he said i bought the stuff to make them and i will bring them back by tomorrow to put them up. I knew not to hold my breath. He did not show up thursday so i thought oh well maybe next spring the next tenants will get them. lol But early this morning in the middle of barney we hear banging on the living room window. It's the guy putting in the screens. YAY. He puts them in and leaves and i start to open windows. That is when i notice the half ass job this guy did putting them together. There are gaps in places and two of them were falling out of the windows. I had to go outside and put them in place. The one in Marina's window was the worst. Huge gaps and it won't even fit in the window. It was hanging out funny so i tried to push it in place and it fell out of the window. When i tried to stick it back in i realized it just was too long. SHIT FIRE!! So i got out my metal cutting scissors and my jewelry making pliers and went to work. I took them apart, cut off some of the metal, and put it back together. It fit in the window perfect. :) I was so proud of myself i called chris to brag. He said we are gonna have to call you veronica the builder and so we started singing Mom the builder......... It also had something to do with the fact that this morning i frosted 21 cupcakes (or pupcakes as portia calls them) and sprinkled them with jimmies. Dropped them off at the school to the cheers of 19 little people. Went to walmart and bought a couple of birdfeeders. I wanted to buy lots and lots of plants but i knew i would just kill them. My parents and my brother have green thumbs and i was cursed with a brown one. Anyway i brought them home, filled 'em and then put them outside. If i can't have beautiful plants i will at least get to see the beautiful birds. This morning i also got outside to cut the grass and trim with the weed eater. I found strawberries growing behing our storage shed. heh The baby strawberries are adorable. I have been waiting for a couple of weeks for chris to cut it and the weather guy said it was gonna rain this afternoon. So i wanted to beat the rain. It's also supposed to rain off and on all weekend. Right now it does not look like it is gonna rain. Portia and i watched the beginning of beetlejuice together earlier. It was like a car wreck she could not turn away. It spooked her just a little but had her hooked. lol Got a nice long letter from chris' grandmother today. I love her letters. She is the only person i know who likes to keep in touch by writing letters. She is wanting info on everyone's eating habits for the stay in colorado. I don't think i want to torture her like that. I have got the pickiest bunch of eaters. And they all get offended when i share that news with anyone. So i'm gonna tell her that i'll bring all the snack stuff with us. ah almost time to make my evening run to the park and ride. Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Wow such a busy week and it's only Wednesday! Poor marina is still sick, she has been out of school since last wednesday. Over the weekend it looked like she was getting better until monday when she tanked. I took her to urgent care yesterday. She has a sinus infection and it seems to be just as bad as chris' was. ugh poor little guy. So she was prescribed antibiotics. Here is where the rant starts.....lol.
First of all it took us almost an hour to get to the clinic because of horrible traffic. (Let me just say that Houston needs to fund more options in mass transit and less building of highways. The air quality is bad enough, but they keep widening roads to make way for more cars!) The ride should have only taken us 15 to 20 minutes tops. We finally make it there and we were the first ones there YAY because it's first come first serve. We get in to see the doc, who is great, very good thing because marina has had her fill of shitty docs and is now scared of them. This guy helped in making her feel very comfortable. Not to mention she thought it was the coolest thing that he knew what she meant when she said "sanctuary sanctuary". Not very many people remember Logan's Run. He tested for strep (negative) which was a waste because he knew he was going to prescribe antibiotics anyway so why add $22 to the bill? $105 later he diagnosed a sinus infection and sent us on our merry way. When we left i went to Sandy's produce and vitamins. I have been meaning to go there for quite some time but kept putting it off because of all the stinking highway construction. But i figured since i was practically next door it would be silly of me not to drop in. Boy was i glad i did. They have tons of veggies, vitamins and dietary supplements. I wanted more sambucol which they had. No one around us carries it. I got marina some organic shampoo which smells so good. It has tea tree oil & blue cypress. I also bought lots of veggies and some 'treats'. They have the best red licorice so i bought some and have so far eaten a lot of it. :) I also got dark chocolate covered almonds, milk chocolate covered cherries, sea salt, sun dried tomatoes, a turkey breast, organic milk, and more herbal tea. I was so happy to find artichokes that were not $3 each. Which is what i paid at HEB the other day. I still wish we had a whole foods close by because grocery stores do not offer many organic items. We left there and went to have lunch. I suggested marina have some jalapenos with hers so she could open up her nose a bit. I had one sample packet of Omnicef left from chris' trip to the doc so i started her on those. Because that is what this doc prescribed. Later in the afternoon we decided to go have her prescription filled. So we head over to wally world. First thing the pharm tech says is "did they tell you it would be expensive?" Me: "no, how expensive?" pharm tech:"$98 dollars" me: *eyeballs busting outta my head* "i guess that's the price you pay for not having insurance huh?" So lucky for me the lady had a heart she said let me call the office and see if we can substitute something else. So she called and the woman she spoke to said let me pull the file and we will call ya back. So we waited but we had to leave to go pick up jewel. The pharm tech said i'll call ya when i hear something, in about 15 minutes. Okey dokey. About 40 minutes later the pharmacist calls to tell me that there is no replacement available. But that the doc did say that i should head back up the office to pick up samples. WTF?? Why couldn't they just give them to me to begin with while i was there? Ugh so load everyone back into the car and rush to get over there. By this point it is almost 5pm, chris gets to the park and ride at 6pm and we have to be at an open house at jewel's school by 6:15. oy vey We get to the office in about 20 minutes cause the traffic was a thousand times better. Run in and they have the medicine waiting for me. Thank them profusely for giving me the samples. Run back out to the car and wipe the brown spot from my nose. LOL Then have to get back onto the feeder and make the turnaround at the next light. This clinic is half an inch from the closest light but the way it is set up you cannot get back over to that street you have to go the long way around. Oy. Pull out only to come to a stop. More fucking road construction and it's closing up to only one lane, which in houston is just as bad as if it's just rained. Everyone shoves their heads up their butts and becomes very very aggressive. No way in hell they are gonna let you over into that one lane cause they were there first! It's kinda like being in elementary school again. :) So i turn off and decide to take the back roads around the highway to the original intersection. Finally get to it and onto the highway and headed home. Make it home with just enough time to change and pee. Run back out the door to go pick up chris. At 10 min til six he is still not there (and hasn't called) he was supposed to call when they got to the highway 6 stop. That way if i was close by i could just pick him up there. So i call him, he is asleep and they are nowhere near close! I could have taken a little longer, maybe grabbed something to eat. The last time i ate was at 11am and i was starving! So now i'm hungry, tired and a little peeved. He finally gets there at 6:12 and we haul ass. We get lucky and the traffic on the way there is good so I make it to the school in under 10 minutes. *phew* They did a 'reading restaurant', jewel even wore a chef's hat and apron. We got to choose a book from a "menu" and jewel read it to us. She did a wonderful job and she looked so cute. After we left everyone in the car reminded me of how they were "starvin' marvin" hee hee hee. So we head on over to the DQ. Take it home scarf it down, get the kids in the bath, out of the bath, ready for bed and lights out. I finally collapsed in my chair ready to watch the rest of american idol and part of America's next top model. And i was so dissapointed that ANTM didn't run the show they were supposed to run. Crocheted some, read some, took a shower and finally hit the hay myself at the late late hour of 10:30. Chris said "your going to bed already?" He's lucky my hands were empty i mighta beaned him for that one. He always stays up late to mess with his rockets. Last night he was cracking me up because he was very frustrated with the performance of a new spray paint. Guess he won't be buying that brand anymore. I was just about to pass out when his cell phone started flippin' out. He had it plugged in to charge. When you first plug it in it will beep at you and the screen lights up. Well it kept doing that every few minutes. I thought it was a fluke so ignored it the first few times............oh okay i was totally being lazy and tried to ignore it so i could just go to sleep. But i hate any noise when i'm sleeping so eventually i got up and unplugged/plugged it back in. Finally the noise stopped and i was out. ahhhh Now it's a new day and i get to do it all over again. My hectic life as a mom.............i love it and i wouldn't change a thing. :) Saturday, March 06, 2004
Can you hear that?
It is the sound of silence. Sounds yummy huh? LOL Chris left a little while ago with the two little guys. Marina is here cause she is still sick. I have to be here to wait for a repair guy. Yesterday water began leaking from one of the vents in the kids bathroom. Looks like it is from the a/c. Everytime we used it yesterday the leak was faster. I turned the a/c off over night and no water this morning. I showed chris all the mold on the a/c vent in their bathroom. Could be why i wheeze so much. hmmm We called our landlord yesterday afternoon he said he would send somebody out. So far nada. I sure hope the a/c doesn't decide to peter out on us. Chris left to go get the oil changed in the car. He has always been adamant about changing it himself. Doesn't trust mechanics to baby his car like he would. But now with the new car we have taken it to the dealership to get the oil changed everytime. heh. I think he is trying to cover his ass in case there any problems with the car. The dealership keeps track of all the maintenance being done and likes to know that it is being done on time. So they know whether or not we contributed to the problem, if any happen to pop up. He is also going to see about buying two racks for the top. We have the side ones now we need the ones that go on either end. That way we can buy one of those travel things for the top. We are going to need it for the trip this summer. We were stuffed like sausages on our trip to Kansas this winter, don't want to do that again. I think we should just get one of those metal tray thingies that you stick in the trailer hitch on the back. Chris is afraid that something could pop off of that and we would miss it. Kind of like National Lampoons vacation. LOL After the dealership they are going to go to Hobby Lobby. I wanted to go just to go there, but i also want the a/c fixed, so i decided to hang back. It will be nice to have some peace and quiet while they are gone. Hopefully tomorrow we will go out and buy chris some shoes. He needs new shoes but he hates to go shopping for them. If i could i would just order them online, but he is so picky. I don't want to do the whole return thing if it all possible. I think he should just get some all stars. hey I might be able to talk him into that. Then i could have them shipped here, zappos offers free shipping. That is where i ordered Marina's from. So yesterday Jewel had Go Texan day at school. They celebrate the beginning of rodeo (even though technically it started last weekend) by dressing up in western wear. Jewel wore a denim skirt that has the red/white handkerchief ruffle around the bottom. The shirt she wore is made of the same material as the ruffle. She also wore pink cowboy boots and a straw hat. She looked so cute, so did all the other kids that dressed up. Then in continuing with the country theme, LOL, I made country fried steak with gravy for dinner last night. Not chicken fried steak but almost the same thing. I also made lots of mashed potatoes, yummy with lots of gravy. Another one of my NOT heart healthy meals. Tonight we are doing the manicotti again. I have been craving it again all week. I weighed myself at the beginning of the week and i am down to 120 lbs. I have not been trying to lose weight and i haven't really changed my eating habits. I wonder if subconsciously the things my father and brother said affected me. In November i weighed 130 lbs. So over the course of 4 months i somehow lost 10 lbs. Weird. Chris said he thinks it's because i don't have a snowy winter to keep me trapped inside. And that maybe i'm just more active here. I think it's all the damn heat melting me slowly...........like a snowman. :) Friday, March 05, 2004
What was...
1. ...your first grade teacher's name? I can't remember her name for the life of me. But i still have her picture and remember what a great lady she was. I remember that she reminded me of Peggy Fleming. 2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon? School House Rocks........As your body grows bigger Your mind grows flowered It's great to learn 'Cause knowledge is power! It's Schoolhouse Rocky That chip off the block of your favorite schoolhouse Schoolhouse Rock...... and of course Scooby Doo. 3. ...the name of your very first best friend? My brother rick and Adrian. Adrian moved into the house across the street from ours when i was five and he & my brother were 4. 4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal? Post honey nut shredded wheat. 5. ...your favorite thing to do after school? We would do our chores then Adrian would come over and the three of us would watch cartoons until my mom got home from work. Then we would climb on our bikes and ride and play until dinner. My mom would whistle really loud to let us know it was time to come in. If we were not where we could hear the whistle then we were in trouble. See i talk to much. LOL I'm the one of those people who can't just answer a question, gotta have a story to go with it. :) My middle name should be yada yada yada....... |
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My Pieces Me: Veronica, Roni to my friends. 32 years. I love to read, crochet, eat and laugh.Chris: Life partner/lover/best friend. 30 behaves like 18 and i love it (sometimes). The greatest guy in the world who can sometimes be extremely annoying. *smile* Daughters Marina Rose: 13 Beautiful, smart, boy crazy, movie junkie who is very hormonal. Novena Jewel: 7 going on 80. Beautiful, intelligent free thinker, outspoken, and she can really make me think. Portia Anais: 5 Beautiful, talkative, creative, tomboy who loves a good argument.
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